[PJDK]

We do something very similar. All pay goes into a joint account and all the bills and joint expenses come out of that one.

We pay ourselves each an allowance that covers our personal spending. That's basically everything I spend money on by myself, so lunch out, treats, games whatever.

I think its a really good way if avoiding any worry about "wasteful" spending. What we each value is different. If we need to tighten our belts we just reduce the allowance, we don't need to fight over what specific spending is or isn't acceptable.

[2rsf]

Can you explain how does "we don't need to fight over what specific spending is or isn't acceptable" works? do you simply cut the personal spending symmetrically?

[PJDK]

It's not actually really come up fortunately, but we have an agreement that we have £X allowance a month for our own spending. We don't then need to justify what can come out of that allowance, and if we need to cut back on that spending it will be a general cut back not "spend less on beer" specifically.

Obviously join expenses like meals out would still need to be cut back too, but we're at least doing those together in the first place.