You're witnessing the contributions of perhaps a thousand people here on HN, but keep in mind there are millions of silent lurkers who feel exactly as you do. You are not mediocre; you are simply not the best.
And there is no “best”. There might be experts in a particular domain, but even they may defer to other people on specific things, and will be totally clueless in other areas.
One of the problems with online forums is I often see everyone else posting as 1 person. Other people seemingly know everything, and in comparison, I know nothing. Of course, this isn’t the reality of the situation.
In a much smaller pond, my team at work, I’ve had people tell me I’m the best at various things. What they don’t see are the days I work late to try and solve stuff, the countless hours I’ll put into documentation (even if it’s just for myself), the articles and courses I read/took on nights and weekends, the near crippling anxiety right beneath the surface at all times, the giving up of any kind of life outside of work, and still feeling like an imposter and thinking I should quit every single day before people realize I’m an idiot. But I keep showing up, because I don’t think anyone else would even hire me. This is what’s going on inside the mind of someone who has been called the “best” by several people on his team. I wish I could see myself the way some others do, but I know better.
al_borland|1 year ago
One of the problems with online forums is I often see everyone else posting as 1 person. Other people seemingly know everything, and in comparison, I know nothing. Of course, this isn’t the reality of the situation.
In a much smaller pond, my team at work, I’ve had people tell me I’m the best at various things. What they don’t see are the days I work late to try and solve stuff, the countless hours I’ll put into documentation (even if it’s just for myself), the articles and courses I read/took on nights and weekends, the near crippling anxiety right beneath the surface at all times, the giving up of any kind of life outside of work, and still feeling like an imposter and thinking I should quit every single day before people realize I’m an idiot. But I keep showing up, because I don’t think anyone else would even hire me. This is what’s going on inside the mind of someone who has been called the “best” by several people on his team. I wish I could see myself the way some others do, but I know better.