[theboywho]

So basically the author is feeling lonely. That’s the primary message sugar coated in a long blog post, but when you have constructed your social life around drinking, it’s no surprise. The majority of people in the west actually construct their social lives around drinking, which is why it feels lonely not to drink, so it’s more of a societal problem than anything else.

[raddan]

She has another post where she talks about being an introvert and how difficult it is to make friendships when you are an adult. I have observed this myself. I suspect—-and this jives with her observations—-that as adults we tend to feel like social time must also be productive. Like we need to be DOING something. Alcohol is the social lubricant that finally allows us to chill out and not “do” things.

Children do not have this problem, I suspect, because there are no expectations of “doing.” They just are who they are, especially at young ages. I wonder if the author tried instead to engage in a pursuit that she liked for itself (eg, for us hackers here, a makerspace) that she might make more friends. Because the pressure of “doing” something and “trying” to be friends would be off. All of my best friends from adulthood were made this way—-we bonded over a shared passion without actually trying to be friends.

[hcfman]

She’s a social anthropologist. So she might just be a bit more social than a lot here.