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swombat | 1 year ago

With love, please consider - the "shame" you're describing is really something else in a mask.

Perhaps... a longing? Maybe this stranger has helped you find the place where you do truly long for life.

Let the feeling be. Don't label it shame. Don't label it longing. Just let it be. Give it space. Cry if you feel like it. Laugh if you feel like it. Just feel it.

And when you're ready to speak about this with others, there will be many, many willing to be there for you. You are loved.

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mjdiloreto|1 year ago

Another perspective: shame can be good. Feel it. Shame for who you are can light a fire in you, can propel you into transformation. Shame for one's past self is normal, if one has undergone any growth, and in time one may forgive himself. But not now, not when you know yourself and you see all the ways you are lacking. Not when you are so wholly disappointed in your life that you want to end it. _Longing_ for a different life will not result in change. Shame, and deeply ruminating on it can. In time you will transform and can forgive the past self you are ashamed of, but not now in your time of desperate need.

smogcutter|1 year ago

I think it’s worth drawing a distinction between guilt, which can be positive, and shame, almost never. Guilt is feeling badly because you know you’ve done wrong. Shame is feeling badly because other people know you’ve done wrong.