A bit over a year ago I lost a dear friend, while his girlfriend was pregnant.
The feeling of seeing something the person will never use again is soul wrenching. I wept when I read the line "No salt. No salt means that he’s not cooking. He’ll never cook again."
The child is a ray of light for me whenever I see it, I hope the family can find a little comfort in this piece of him that will be brought into the world.
I have followed this story for a while now and wish the family a brighter path in the future. Thank you for focussing my thoughts on what is important, instead of the daily tech grind.
My dad is rapidly loosing his battle with ALS. He has always loved to cut grass. He has very limited mobility (in some ways he is lucky, most people with late stage ALS are basically paralyzed. His progression is respiratory focuses so he is loosing the ability to breath faster than the ability to walk) but with some assistance has still been able to use my zero turn mower and get a little joy out of cutting my grass.
Just this Sunday he reached the point where he can't cut anymore...I guess he is out of salt :'(
Ouch, this one hurts. I lost my Dad to pancreatic cancer last year and had a very similar experience - he loved jumping on the tractor and cutting the grass on his little farm, but we went so quickly from him asking me do it temporarily while he recovered from surgery to him never getting on the tractor again.
So sorry for what you're going through, and wishing you some peace wherever you can find it. My email is in my bio, please reach out if you need someone to talk to (I have no useful expertise or advice of any kind here, but will gladly lend a listening ear).
I lost my mom to ALS six years ago, and those final months still haunt me.
When the time comes, make sure your remembrance service has pictures of when he was all of himself, the way you want to remember him. One of the worst things these illnesses do is leave you with final memories of a pale shadow of the person you loved, instead of the fantastically colorful person they should be remembered as.
One internet stranger to another, I hope things go as well as they may.
This is written in focus mode. Once you're out of that, remember to grieve. So, so important. I can't imagine my brother dying, love and prayers to you and his family.
I don’t think there are any modern startup “inventions” which bother me more than meal replacements like Soylent. It’s not that there’s something wrong with having a nutrition shake to replace a meal if you’re in a rush.
It’s more that food, cooking, and eating (alone and with other people) seem like some of the most human things you can do. And so trying to optimize them out of existence feels wrong, a crime against culture. Long after the AIs have replaced entire classes of jobs and hobbies, cooking will still be around.
As someone who hates cooking, I don't understand the argument. Why would I care about whether something is a "human thing" or not? "Crime against culture" means nothing and could be said about anything.
This is a silly take IMO. I love eating and cooking good food. I also sometimes need something healthy on the road or in between classes etc. Vanishingly few people replace all food with Soylent. It’s fine as a fill-in between meals.
Cooking is a huge waste of time. Think about the hours wasted toiling in a kitchen, doing dishes, moving little items up and down and setting them here, now there, now wipe up the mess. All for what, so I can sit still for 10 minutes and taste a good thing, then get up and clean up that mess? If I could swap out my stomach for a Lithium Ion battery I would.
I enjoy cooking for a few reasons. I tell people it's because it's so different from what I do at work. There's some truth to that. The main reason is because I like doing things that make people happy. There's something very satisfying about cooking a good meal and enjoying it with others.
I lived on a DIY total meal replacement shake for about a year:
Pros:
- Feel fucking amazing. Not just digestive, but mind, energy, mood, all over feel great.
- Perfect poops. I'd poop the same ideal poop everyday at the same time. Two wipes and done.
- Cheap-ish. DIY made it much cheaper than commercial products. Allowed fine tuning too. Was something like $7/day.
- Never hungry. I had three shakes a day and was very satiating. I would go months without experiencing the feeling of hunger.
- Lots of water. Each shake had ~500ml of water in it, which made it much easier to stay hydrated.
- Maximized exercise gains. Was tailored for working out, so I didn't leave anything on the table due to nutritional deficits.
Cons:
- The taste and texture. Bad and worse. Wasn't excruciating to get down, but fell into the "It's not good but I'll still have it" camp.
- No variety. Basically the same thing all the time.
- Weak jaw. Your jaw muscles weaken quickly when not being used all the time. It's surprising to eat regular food and find your jaw aching and tired after half a sandwich.
- Planning. Kind of minor but I would need to plan a bit more to make sure I had shakes ready to go. They tasted best if they could sit for an hour or so after mixing, and where chilled.
I gave in eventually because regular food is just so enjoyable and because GNC stopped making the micro nutrient powder that was essential too it.
I understand your point but I believe McDonalds and the likes are worse. Sure some people hang out there together, in fact I even have fond memories of getting a Happy Meal with a shitty toys with my little sister but the food has little nutritional value, there is no "love" and the whole "feel good" situation was planned by some corporate guys in an office...
I, like many others here on HN, have been following Jake Seliger’s difficult road for the past few years. Thankfully from afar, as I can't imagine what he (or his family) must be going through. But getting email updates, seeing his blog pop up on here every now and then, it's become comforting and familiar, and a symbol of hope: that he's still kicking.
I really hope his wife (or brother, or both) will continue writing after he moves on.
I have a little brother. And while I would say we are close, I always wonder how he feels about me. I was not nice to him growing up, and it created a lot of resentment. One day I apologized to him about it, and I remember him seeing tear up out of the corner of my eye.
The day that I think changed our relationship we went on a hike together. While we were driving there he had a bunch of anxiety about it, and wanted to back out. I managed to convince him to come with me and just let all his feelings out; he just yelled at me the entire drive there about a lot of different things. Including my treatment of him.
That hike to this day was the best I've ever been on. Everybody has a different relationship with their brother, but I genuinely do not and cannot imagine this existence without mine. He understands me in ways that nobody else does. He gets my jokes that nobody else does. Having a brother you are close with just _almost_ proves you don't die alone.
I've got a younger sister with whom I've had a great relationship for most of my life with. She gets my jokes like nobody else just as your brother gets yours. She's been the first person I've tried to make laugh. Even now when we hang out, she's my favorite "audience" member to be silly around. Luckily, we live right across the street from eachother and see eachother multiple times a week.
I hope your last sentence resonates with her as it does with us!
Last week we lost our Boston terrier. A chronic illness turned acute. What I thought was a routine trip to the vet turned into The Talk.
I held our little girl as the vet helped her go to sleep and told her: “It’s ok. You can rest now. We love you so much, but you don’t have to fight for us anymore. Lay down and sleep. It won’t hurt anymore.”
I’m glad Jake is surrounded by people who love him. I’m sure they’re telling him the same things. And I’m also sure it’s harder for them to let go of their beloved husband and brother than it will be for him to close his eyes and finally rest.
Man, the part about the credit card at the funeral home hit me really hard.
When I was 20, I witnessed my dad collapse in front of me as the result of years-long battle with heart disease, failed to help him with CPR, and saw him "officially" die in front of my eyes at a hospital 30 minutes later.
Barely hours later I am in a funeral home trying to make arrangements for a cremation because he had no will, assets, or last wishes, and yea, that transactional vibe hit really hard - they were feigning empathy, but I was 20, broke, just suffered a pretty traumatic event and was in quite a vulnerable state. It felt disgusting that they were trying to "upsell" me on services and every step of the process felt designed to wring every single dime that I had out of me. Luckily I didn't have much to give at that time or I probably would have.
[+] [-] dang|1 year ago|reply
Starting Hospice - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41157974 - Aug 2024 (116 comments)
[+] [-] domano|1 year ago|reply
The feeling of seeing something the person will never use again is soul wrenching. I wept when I read the line "No salt. No salt means that he’s not cooking. He’ll never cook again."
The child is a ray of light for me whenever I see it, I hope the family can find a little comfort in this piece of him that will be brought into the world.
I have followed this story for a while now and wish the family a brighter path in the future. Thank you for focussing my thoughts on what is important, instead of the daily tech grind.
[+] [-] tonyb|1 year ago|reply
My dad is rapidly loosing his battle with ALS. He has always loved to cut grass. He has very limited mobility (in some ways he is lucky, most people with late stage ALS are basically paralyzed. His progression is respiratory focuses so he is loosing the ability to breath faster than the ability to walk) but with some assistance has still been able to use my zero turn mower and get a little joy out of cutting my grass.
Just this Sunday he reached the point where he can't cut anymore...I guess he is out of salt :'(
[+] [-] stevenbrianhall|1 year ago|reply
Ouch, this one hurts. I lost my Dad to pancreatic cancer last year and had a very similar experience - he loved jumping on the tractor and cutting the grass on his little farm, but we went so quickly from him asking me do it temporarily while he recovered from surgery to him never getting on the tractor again.
So sorry for what you're going through, and wishing you some peace wherever you can find it. My email is in my bio, please reach out if you need someone to talk to (I have no useful expertise or advice of any kind here, but will gladly lend a listening ear).
[+] [-] octokatt|1 year ago|reply
When the time comes, make sure your remembrance service has pictures of when he was all of himself, the way you want to remember him. One of the worst things these illnesses do is leave you with final memories of a pale shadow of the person you loved, instead of the fantastically colorful person they should be remembered as.
One internet stranger to another, I hope things go as well as they may.
[+] [-] Fire-Dragon-DoL|1 year ago|reply
[+] [-] shrimp_emoji|1 year ago|reply
[deleted]
[+] [-] gadflyinyoureye|1 year ago|reply
[deleted]
[+] [-] rpmisms|1 year ago|reply
[+] [-] keiferski|1 year ago|reply
It’s more that food, cooking, and eating (alone and with other people) seem like some of the most human things you can do. And so trying to optimize them out of existence feels wrong, a crime against culture. Long after the AIs have replaced entire classes of jobs and hobbies, cooking will still be around.
[+] [-] Kiro|1 year ago|reply
[+] [-] etrautmann|1 year ago|reply
[+] [-] gosub100|1 year ago|reply
[+] [-] jessriedel|1 year ago|reply
[+] [-] batch12|1 year ago|reply
[+] [-] dataflow|1 year ago|reply
[+] [-] Workaccount2|1 year ago|reply
Pros:
- Feel fucking amazing. Not just digestive, but mind, energy, mood, all over feel great.
- Perfect poops. I'd poop the same ideal poop everyday at the same time. Two wipes and done.
- Cheap-ish. DIY made it much cheaper than commercial products. Allowed fine tuning too. Was something like $7/day.
- Never hungry. I had three shakes a day and was very satiating. I would go months without experiencing the feeling of hunger.
- Lots of water. Each shake had ~500ml of water in it, which made it much easier to stay hydrated.
- Maximized exercise gains. Was tailored for working out, so I didn't leave anything on the table due to nutritional deficits.
Cons:
- The taste and texture. Bad and worse. Wasn't excruciating to get down, but fell into the "It's not good but I'll still have it" camp.
- No variety. Basically the same thing all the time.
- Weak jaw. Your jaw muscles weaken quickly when not being used all the time. It's surprising to eat regular food and find your jaw aching and tired after half a sandwich.
- Planning. Kind of minor but I would need to plan a bit more to make sure I had shakes ready to go. They tasted best if they could sit for an hour or so after mixing, and where chilled.
I gave in eventually because regular food is just so enjoyable and because GNC stopped making the micro nutrient powder that was essential too it.
[+] [-] katzenversteher|1 year ago|reply
[+] [-] theskypirate|1 year ago|reply
[+] [-] Aeolun|1 year ago|reply
[+] [-] dvt|1 year ago|reply
I really hope his wife (or brother, or both) will continue writing after he moves on.
[+] [-] jpgvm|1 year ago|reply
RIP Jake. May heaven have the most extravagant spice cabinet waiting for you.
[+] [-] aaron695|1 year ago|reply
I don't believe from reading the article, this is correct at this point in time.
[+] [-] Sl1mb0|1 year ago|reply
The day that I think changed our relationship we went on a hike together. While we were driving there he had a bunch of anxiety about it, and wanted to back out. I managed to convince him to come with me and just let all his feelings out; he just yelled at me the entire drive there about a lot of different things. Including my treatment of him.
That hike to this day was the best I've ever been on. Everybody has a different relationship with their brother, but I genuinely do not and cannot imagine this existence without mine. He understands me in ways that nobody else does. He gets my jokes that nobody else does. Having a brother you are close with just _almost_ proves you don't die alone.
[+] [-] polishdude20|1 year ago|reply
I hope your last sentence resonates with her as it does with us!
[+] [-] Yossarrian22|1 year ago|reply
[+] [-] yinser|1 year ago|reply
And just like a water baby, baby born to float
And if life is a wild wind that blows way on high
Then your heart is Amelia dying to fly
Heaven knows no frontiers
And I've seen heaven in your eyes - Mary Black
[+] [-] unethical_ban|1 year ago|reply
[+] [-] kstrauser|1 year ago|reply
I held our little girl as the vet helped her go to sleep and told her: “It’s ok. You can rest now. We love you so much, but you don’t have to fight for us anymore. Lay down and sleep. It won’t hurt anymore.”
I’m glad Jake is surrounded by people who love him. I’m sure they’re telling him the same things. And I’m also sure it’s harder for them to let go of their beloved husband and brother than it will be for him to close his eyes and finally rest.
Sending much love his way, and also theirs.
[+] [-] red_admiral|1 year ago|reply
At the end of the day, what more can we wish for in a human life than this?
[+] [-] JohnMakin|1 year ago|reply
When I was 20, I witnessed my dad collapse in front of me as the result of years-long battle with heart disease, failed to help him with CPR, and saw him "officially" die in front of my eyes at a hospital 30 minutes later.
Barely hours later I am in a funeral home trying to make arrangements for a cremation because he had no will, assets, or last wishes, and yea, that transactional vibe hit really hard - they were feigning empathy, but I was 20, broke, just suffered a pretty traumatic event and was in quite a vulnerable state. It felt disgusting that they were trying to "upsell" me on services and every step of the process felt designed to wring every single dime that I had out of me. Luckily I didn't have much to give at that time or I probably would have.
[+] [-] Diederich|1 year ago|reply
[+] [-] yard2010|1 year ago|reply
Sending all the love I can to you Jake Bess and family. I wish somehow I could do anything to change this or make you feel better.
[+] [-] lrivers|1 year ago|reply
[+] [-] renewiltord|1 year ago|reply
Jake Seliger’s posts have been great in detailing the process he’s taken to fight the disease. I am grateful for his work.
[+] [-] NeutralForest|1 year ago|reply
[+] [-] solveit|1 year ago|reply