[badpenny]

> We march through the gym alone, AirPods blasting, not because the Knocked Loose song makes us stronger, but because we think our independence does.

Or maybe "we" go to the gym to exercise, not make friends? When did going to the gym become a social activity? I listen to music to drown out the absolutely awful pop music they play there, not to prevent people from talking to me. I don't assume they're interested in talking to me anyway, and although it's often nice to strike up a conversation with someone, I'm there to train and chit-chatting eats into that and usually leads to equipment-hogging.

Glad this guy found a place he enjoys going and people he likes, but it's kinda shitty and weak that he's trying to turn it into "here's a list of the reasons men and gyms are bad".

[bittercynic]

I think this gets at the lack of semi-social venues.

There's something special to me about events where there is some expected activity to engage with, so keeping your head down and concentrating is fine, but some people are open to socializing as well. It takes the pressure off those of us with weak social muscles, and makes it OK to socialize for a bit, and then do an individual activity for a bit to recover. And if there's someone you don't want to interact with it's easier to make yourself unavailable without making it a personal rejection.

Using earbuds to signal that you're not open to social interaction is fine, but it can be a bummer if everyone's doing that.

[AStonesThrow]

I was unable to participate in team sports and eventually shunned any type of physical education, until I was nearly 50.

I found group classes preferable to just hitting the gym. At the gym, there was a bunch of machines and equipment; I didn't know what I was doing with them, so I relied heavily on personal trainers and worried a lot about proper form, and how to efficiently use time and effort to get some results. It took a while to define my goals and the means to those ends, and thus decide on which machines to use, from a bewildering array of choices. I also had social anxiety because of mixed gender and being older than most. There were TV monitors playing dumb shows to distract me even more. I fumbled just to account for my regimen, tally up reps/sets/times, and enter them into my app.

In a group class, there was a clearly-defined program and leader who could demonstrate all the moves and coach us through a routine. There was some equipment, but everyone was using it the same way, so I could take cues from others. The leader was able to suggest easy/challenging modifications according to our skill levels. The music was programmed by the leader and not a "one size fits all" high-energy radio station.

There was yoga and pilates, and a majority of women leading and taking the classes, but one or two men attending as well. One looked me in the eye and thanked me for coming, and I presumed it was a "minorities gotta stick together" statement.

[reginald78]

Yes, it is a strange view to me as well. I don't know how most people view the gym, I've almost exclusively worked out at home. But I consider it a personal and solitary activity I'm sometimes forced to interact with other people with to perform. I'm not really knocking him for having a different perspective, but it kind of feels like he's complaining people at the grocery store don't want to have a conversation and are to focused on shopping for food.

[ambicapter]

Also, the songs definitely make me stronger. Or you're not listening to the right music.

[freejazz]

> Or maybe "we" go to the gym to exercise, not make friends?

And yet male loneliness is such a problem!