[kregasaurusrex]

There's tonnes of worthless merchandise and supplements of a dubious nature which The Onion, the least expected of all possible buyers, now has to find a use for. My first suggestion would be melting down all of the 500% marked up gold bars[0] and make a one-time-run charity auction collectible for the Sandy Hook families. Or upcycling all the paper in Alex Jones' books [1] into paper mache, and use it to make globes, to really stick it to the globalists!

[0] https://www.infowarsstore.com/24-karat-999-pure-gold-collect...

[1] https://www.infowarsstore.com/infowars-media/books/the-great...

[dmvdoug]

> As for the vitamins and supplements, we are halting their sale immediately. Utilitarian logic dictates that if we can extend even one CEO’s life by 10 minutes, diluting these miracle elixirs for public consumption is an unethical waste. Instead, we plan to collect the entire stock of the InfoWars warehouses into a large vat and boil the contents down into a single candy bar–sized omnivitamin that one executive (I will not name names) may eat in order to increase his power and perhaps become immortal.*

[ziddoap]

Funny, for sure, but does not explain what they will be doing in reality.

[wyldfire]

> melting down all of the 500% marked up gold bars[0] and make a one-time-run charity auction collectible for the Sandy Hook families

Or a monument / memorial to the deceased, in the hopes that the truth would outlive Jones's lies.

[rtkwe]

InfoWars only shilled for gold sellers. Their business was entirely Vitamins/Supplement, Merch, and crazy AFAIK they never sold gold directly.

[NotYourLawyer]

And the flat earthers.

[ixtli]

Phenomenal point!

[TZubiri]

I don't know man, it's not like the dude caused the Sandy Hook massacre, just take this win and let the victims rest in peace. Let the Onion do it's things and cut ties.

[augusto-moura]

And pocket the money from the gold bars? Probably better to donate them anyway, better yet to give it back to victims involved in his lies

[nixdev]

> supplements of a dubious nature

They are re-labled existing products that are sold in other places, and unironically already-recognized, before being re-labled by InfoWars, as very high quality.

If you're gonna criticize InfoWars you have my 100% support in your right to do so, but try not to post out of your ass. This is HackerNews, not Reddit.

[kregasaurusrex]

There was a past disclosure where lead was found[0] within an in-house product. Buzzfeed did a story about sending some products to a lab and you're right they're safe existing products[1] only with Infowars' own exaggerated marketing labeled on.

[0] https://oag.ca.gov/system/files/prop65/notices/2017-02319.pd...

[1] https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/charliewarzel/we-sent-a...

[blackguardx]

Can you give an example of these high-quality supplements? Otherwise folks just have to take you at your word that they exist.

[gadders]

>> make a one-time-run charity auction collectible for the Sandy Hook families

They've got $1.5billion. Probably don't need the gold as well. There might be equally valid causes with less funds.

[paddy_m]

They have a claim for $1.5B, they are going after all Alex Jones assets which are much less than $1.5B.

[reaperducer]

They've got $1.5billion.

No, they've got a judgement on paper for $1.5 billion. This is part of the process of actually getting that money.

[kregasaurusrex]

I had the goldbugs and silver bugs in mind- they'd be more than willing to pay exorbitant markup, with the feel-good ennui of it going towards a good cause. These were $100 for a 1/10 gram at the time of writing and now are sold out. Coincidence???