[empathy_m]

Eric Meyer's posts about his daughter's illness, and the family's lifelong process of grieving afterward, are heartbreaking. It's arresting, gripping writing. It's wonderful and awful. Hug your loved ones tight. https://meyerweb.com/eric/thoughts/category/personal/rebecca...

[ericwood]

Thank you for linking this. I read bits and pieces of this as it was happening but it never fully registered for me at 24. I'm sitting here 10 years later at 34 having lost our son at 23 weeks. His due date was this past week. It's affected me in ways that still surprise, befuddle, and sometimes scare me. I cannot even begin to fathom what he's been through; the most recent blog post has me in tears.

I have really strong memories of learning HTML, CSS, and javascript in high school, and spending time in the school library picking apart css/edge. It felt like the dawn of a new era, I was in awe of the things I saw there. I built more than a few sites trying to get my head around the complexispiral demo, and spent countless hours diving into resources I found there (like A List Apart! I will never forget the suckerfish drop-downs). This is one of the few moments I have such vivid memories of that were directly responsible me for pursuing computer engineering and ultimately going so far into UI/UX and the web. I've never written it out this explicitly but: thank you for everything, Eric.

[ten13]

Thank you for sharing, Eric. It’s been a few years now for me since we lost our son before I ever had the chance to meet him and I’m not sure it’s any easier. Stories like yours and that of others help us all know we’re not alone in our grief though so I encourage you to keep sharing and telling your story.

[endorphine]

We lost our daughter a few months ago, 30 days before her due date. We decided to terminate due to a rare genetic condition.

The pain feels too strong to handle some days. I find myself in tears after some seemingly random trigger: seeing another baby in a stroller, listening to a beautiful track named "Never Known", our first daughter saying she wants to play with her friend's small sister, seeing a painting she made with her to-be sister, writing this comment etc.

I have accepted that the pain will always be there.

Thanks for sharing your story.

P.S. there are subreddits where people share similar stories

[Cordiali]

I hope every day is a bit easier than the last for you.

[iambateman]

Thanks for telling your story, too. Grateful.

[arrowsmith]

Ouch. As a father, that was a gutpunch. Dark, haunting, dripping with grief and pain, but beautifully written and very haunting.

I can’t imagine anything worse than what that guy has been through.

I’m holding my sleeping baby as I write this and I just hugged him even tighter. Thanks for sharing.

[adastra22]

As a father of two girls, I’m not clicking that link. I don’t think I could handle it.

[czhu12]

Having never had children myself, his writing moved me in a way that I struggle to comprehend. I spent my 2 hour commute reading through all of his writing on his time, and subsequent grief of his daughter, starting here: https://meyerweb.com/eric/thoughts/2008/06/18/welcome-2/

I found this piece particularly moving, and brought me to tears:

https://meyerweb.com/eric/thoughts/2014/06/10/so-many-nevers...

[29athrowaway]

Those posts are definitely not for everyone. It is a deep dive into the emotions of a grieving father for over a decade.

I really hope that man can find peace.

[whatever1]

How can the game be so unfair for some? People don’t deserve this.

[mewpmewp2]

Makes you think how life so easily and randomly can be so different irrespective of who you are or what you do to affect you forever.

[pglevy]

Was just reading this on the pain of parenting in Medea by Euripides this weekend:

"Suppose that the children have grown into youth And have turned out good, still, if God so wills it, Death will away with your children's bodies, And carry them off into Hades. What is our profit, then, that for the sake of Children the gods should pile up on mortals After all else This most terrible grief of all?"

I try not to think about it too much.

[shadowgovt]

This might be a topic too heavy for this venue. The thumbnail sketch is "Consult the history of human philosophy and faith and you will find people wrestling with this question ever since we could talk and write."

(Personal opinion: fairness is a human construct. The universe does not care. We are the ones who make it as fair as we can.)

[efilife]

That's the consequence of procreation

[agumonkey]

it's indeed strange to realize that life / universe can crunch everything brainlessly in some spot while everything else is colorful around

[kaelig]

"wonderful and awful" is such a brilliant way to capture this. Thank you

[arrowsmith]

Who are you to tell someone else how to process his grief?