I've texted so many people in here, but so far all of them have ignored me or disappeared after a few texts. Why do you do this? So many of you claim to be lonely and to have no friends, yet you refuse to talk to me. It makes no sense.
It always felt like a backwards problem (although I have no data). What’s the chance that everyone around is unfriendable? Having no friends or at least people you see often is more of a state of mind than a real situation.
That said, I’m a professional ghoster myself (separate topic from above). Never found interest in people, only in topics. Have a topic, I join. Have to talk about nothing, I pass. No negativity, just sincerely not interested and don’t want to explain, cause now that brings negativity and my guilt on the table, cause I’m aware that the other side feels abandoned. Learned to better avoid that, cause otherwise half of communication will be managing others expectations, which are not my problem and solving it encourages similar demands in the future. Ignoring forces them to solve it on their own and either return back with a more healthy (imo) attitude or choose to go somewhere else.
Idk how many of “me” out there. But I remember going through the above and forming my set of communication rules.
I guess my advice is be the source of interesting things instead of longing, asking why you’re ghosted, or thinking that if you are ghosted, then they will never talk to you again. It’s not true, they likely just filter their communication to manageable levels. No one blocks you forever unless were annoying as hell for long enough.
I think that is fair if the expectation is such that you contribute interesting ideas, like in a forum.
However, when it is one on one communication, many times people are looking for emotional connection rather than simple exchange of ideas. I think that is when ghosting really stings.
Our reliance on online interactions is responsible for the increase in the tendency to ghost.
That is a big problem because that means more proportion of people's attempts to connect with others as a whole end up in straight up neglect which can be detrimental to not only one's ego, but also one's social development.
I think this contributes significantly to the loneliness epidemic, and ultimately people need more in-person interactions to overcome this.
wruza|1 year ago
It always felt like a backwards problem (although I have no data). What’s the chance that everyone around is unfriendable? Having no friends or at least people you see often is more of a state of mind than a real situation.
That said, I’m a professional ghoster myself (separate topic from above). Never found interest in people, only in topics. Have a topic, I join. Have to talk about nothing, I pass. No negativity, just sincerely not interested and don’t want to explain, cause now that brings negativity and my guilt on the table, cause I’m aware that the other side feels abandoned. Learned to better avoid that, cause otherwise half of communication will be managing others expectations, which are not my problem and solving it encourages similar demands in the future. Ignoring forces them to solve it on their own and either return back with a more healthy (imo) attitude or choose to go somewhere else.
Idk how many of “me” out there. But I remember going through the above and forming my set of communication rules.
I guess my advice is be the source of interesting things instead of longing, asking why you’re ghosted, or thinking that if you are ghosted, then they will never talk to you again. It’s not true, they likely just filter their communication to manageable levels. No one blocks you forever unless were annoying as hell for long enough.
jaybhum|1 year ago
jaybhum|1 year ago
That is a big problem because that means more proportion of people's attempts to connect with others as a whole end up in straight up neglect which can be detrimental to not only one's ego, but also one's social development.
I think this contributes significantly to the loneliness epidemic, and ultimately people need more in-person interactions to overcome this.
unknown|1 year ago
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