[kevinob11]

While describing it this way may make it sound worse, this is (IME) how it works. For some folks the optimization is intuitive and mostly happens subconsciously for some others it doesn't and needs more focus.

A long time ago I started noting when people (esp. my partner) said they like certain things in my phone, then I get them as gifts days, weeks, months, years later. People now think I'm very thoughtful, but I'm just a good note taker. The experience made me think that people who are naturally more "thoughtful", at least partially, just have better memories.

[ExtraRoulette]

I get the optimization thing. I also replay situations in my head and how it could have gone better. I even save notes/reminders/mindmaps for the next time I talk to someone or I'm in a particular social situation. That's just how my mind works, and I can't remember everything.

I also second your approach. I have a todo.txt file of various restaurants, experiences, places my gf wants to visit. Next time I want to plan a date, I look up the list ("Hey babe, let's go that that [RESTAURANT MENTIONED 3 MONTHS AGO] tonight. It's proven to be a very good system. <3

[Invictus0]

The behavior you're describing does make you a thoughtful person even though the thoughts aren't necessarily in the front of your mind. Check out the concept of embodied cognition.