[impoppy]

This was the best explanation. I forgot I used to be this awkward as well for many years and the autopilot/manual analogy is just great. I did get much better at this though through lots of practice and patiently wasting my mental energy and having many awkward interactions, now it’s all just natural to me. I’ll be called an ableist and downvoted, however, I don’t really understand what’s stopping others from suffering through discomfort to get used to it and not see it as discomfort anymore. Although I did get lucky with my friends groups at the university and first companies I worked for.

[knorker]

> This was the best explanation.

It's the only one you choose to believe.

> I don’t really understand what’s stopping others from suffering through discomfort to get used to it and not see it as discomfort anymore

I wouldn't call it ableist to assume that everybody is just like you. People are different. You wouldn't say "if only everyone suffered through reading this physics book, they'd surely understand the glory of physics, and become physicists".

Or "if only someone would just read my religion's book, then obviously they'd instantly become a devout follower of my particular god?".

It all seems profoundly ignorant, naive, lacking both empathy and theory of mind.

[creaktive]

Thank you! I’m glad this metaphor works. As for me, practice did bring many improvements, too. I did stop aiming for “becoming a natural”, however. Good enough, is, well, good enough. I’m always trying to improve, of course! Yet, at least for me, it is so easy to accidentally end up just masking, instead of being myself. And masking is a path that brought me to the darkest places. Hence, I strongly believe that there is a hardwired ceiling, that manifests as discomfort. See, some people train hard and benchpress the weight of a small car. Other people get seriously injured before hitting 100kg. I see no reason for brain being any different.