I think it's just as likely to be naïveté; we'll
see. Infants can be really tough on moms for the first three to six months, especially if breast feeding is involved. If she chooses to do formula and hires a night nanny, things will be easier, but IQ and baby bonding are more at risk.
this made me immediately ask "What sort of work will she be doing throughout the leave?"
When my kids were born, I did work throughout the period immediately following, and I also got up at night to change diapers, etc. The problem though is that, even as a man, if your sleep schedule is interrupted every 3 hours, you just can't do everything you could when you get enough sleep. Sleep disruption with a new baby is a big thing and you can't just shrug that off. It takes weeks usually to adjust.
Of course there are times when you do soldier on and do what you have to. I got a call from a customer one Wednesday saying "We know your second kid was just born last week, but we need you onsite on Monday. Is there any way you can do this?" The deal was the technical contact on their side was quitting, and they needed help ensuring a smooth transition for the project. It was essentially an emergency that needed to be addressed and there wasn't anyone else I could send to do it. And so I talked to my wife, and we decided to rent a minivan and drive 20 hours each way (over a weekend, approx 10 hrs/day) to the customer's site with two kids (one 4 one almost two weeks old), and let them know we'd need a bit extra for accommodations and travel. But even there.... the work I could do on-site was reduced. It was an important visit and it made a world of difference for the customer, but I wouldn't say I was at the peak of my ability. And it worked out much better than me just flying there and back. The newborn was easy to deal with in the car. I could still help out at night, etc. And my wife really enjoyed the drive (we got back and she said next time her mother came to visit we should do a road trip again!).
But at the same time, if it wasn't for the "down-time" during the drive, it would have been pretty miserable all around (we traded off driving every three hours too, to better manage fatigue).
But I wouldn't suggest doing more than the minimum during this time. It is important (or it was for my wife at least as well as for me) to get out and do things non-kid-related and only building back up as you feel like it after....
kintamanimatt|13 years ago
petercooper|13 years ago
mparlane|13 years ago
petercooper|13 years ago
Showing her tenacity and super strength there! My wife was wiped out for months :-)
codex|13 years ago
mparlane|13 years ago
edit: "that her first child is due October 7"
einhverfr|13 years ago
When my kids were born, I did work throughout the period immediately following, and I also got up at night to change diapers, etc. The problem though is that, even as a man, if your sleep schedule is interrupted every 3 hours, you just can't do everything you could when you get enough sleep. Sleep disruption with a new baby is a big thing and you can't just shrug that off. It takes weeks usually to adjust.
Of course there are times when you do soldier on and do what you have to. I got a call from a customer one Wednesday saying "We know your second kid was just born last week, but we need you onsite on Monday. Is there any way you can do this?" The deal was the technical contact on their side was quitting, and they needed help ensuring a smooth transition for the project. It was essentially an emergency that needed to be addressed and there wasn't anyone else I could send to do it. And so I talked to my wife, and we decided to rent a minivan and drive 20 hours each way (over a weekend, approx 10 hrs/day) to the customer's site with two kids (one 4 one almost two weeks old), and let them know we'd need a bit extra for accommodations and travel. But even there.... the work I could do on-site was reduced. It was an important visit and it made a world of difference for the customer, but I wouldn't say I was at the peak of my ability. And it worked out much better than me just flying there and back. The newborn was easy to deal with in the car. I could still help out at night, etc. And my wife really enjoyed the drive (we got back and she said next time her mother came to visit we should do a road trip again!).
But at the same time, if it wasn't for the "down-time" during the drive, it would have been pretty miserable all around (we traded off driving every three hours too, to better manage fatigue).
But I wouldn't suggest doing more than the minimum during this time. It is important (or it was for my wife at least as well as for me) to get out and do things non-kid-related and only building back up as you feel like it after....