[flitzofolov]

You are not alone, it is absurd. The meaning is what you make of it.

I recommend reading Carl Sagan for the cosmic perspective and embracing the awe.

It's worth adding, that while it is indeed all arbitrary and we are cast here without rhyme or reason, not everyone is born with the same lot in life. I also recommend reading Angela Davis for the perspective of systematically oppressed people and their struggles for liberation.

For me, when I do get lost in similar thoughts, it helps me to ground in my actual experience, and especially in what I can do in the short time I've been given to ponder to help others make their lives better.