[keithalewis]

Your statement "the best path forward for me understanding is a path that can maintain that curiosity" comes off as entitled. Only you owe yourself that.

"I can play with Arnold's cat and, slowly, through no scientific rigor..." You are fooling yourself into believing you understand if you leave out rigor. If your post has the words "I" and "me" in every other sentence, maybe you should consider whether or not you are adding value for others in the online discussion.

I doesn't cost you anything to ask other people to do things for you, and you will no doubt find other thoughtless people chiming in about your right to do that. If everything you need is not at your fingertips already, maybe no amount of handholding will help.