[kevwil]

Imagine having someone, anyone, that you felt comfortable sharing your feelings with. Amazing.

I've known my best friend for 50 years now, literally since kindergarten. One person. I probably wouldn't talk about my top 5% of private feelings with him, not sure why. I've been married 28 years now. She doesn't understand me at all, and doesn't want to see or hear any "weakness" from me. So what the f@#$ is an emotional support network? Science fiction, I'd say.

[kkoncevicius]

Your comment mirrors my experience with both close friends and a spouse. One time my now ex-wife asked why I don't share my feelings more. When I did she said she felt unsafe and we started talking about her instead. In my anecdotal experience men are routinely trained not to talk about their troubles and emotions. Even if I had some form of emotional support I am not sure I would know how to open up. And I am not sure I would want to.

[pizzadog]

Yeah... it's strange. Every partner I've had has been someone very aware (to the point of reading books about it in a few cases) of gender issues and the issues with our social norms. But all of them still followed this same trend. Dealing with their emotions was priced in - I was expected to do it. Dealing with my emotions was too scary, too burdensome, there was always some excuse to recenter it on her instead. And the horrifying thing would be when they bring it up later as ammunition for some petty argument. It gives you the sense that they hear these things and hold them like grudges. It makes you never want to open up ever again.

[obruchez]

Isn't it perfectly normal/healthy to keep some of your private feelings totally private? Your best friends/spouses shouldn't necessarily be your psychotherapists.