[compacct27]

Biggest fear as a new parent is basically this. What if my ideals estrange my kid? They’re not bad ideals, but the kid might just not be wired for them. Working hard, doing good for others, building skills, all of that.

I wonder what this guy’s parents were seeing, what they were going through. From what I’ve seen from parents going through it, it can be really super challenging to handle a hyperactive child while still being, you know, an imperfect person yourself

[kstrauser]

The biggest win we had as parents, I think, is always explaining why we had each rule and expectation. We’re not doing this because we don’t want you to have fun. We’re doing this for these specific reasons that benefit you.

Now that are kids are older and out of the house, they voluntarily follow pretty close to our teachings, largely because they saw friends do the opposite and experience the bad consequences we foretold. “Huh, Dad was right: staying up too late and sleeping through a work alarm really does make bosses cranky.” They’ve each thanked us for taking the time to teach why things are important instead of just laying down inscrutable laws. I know I hated that as a kid.