Truth be told I also feel sharper when not dating or in a relationship, software engineering takes a lot of mental overhead. Competing in the modern meat market that is the current dating scene increases that mental overhead
Once you are out of the dating game you may get married and start a family. That also has a mental overhead, and it can be hard to keep your kids schedules aligned with demands / timelines from work in tech.
I think you learn to bear the load more gracefullly as you age and mature. It also puts life more into perspective.
My main point is you learn to handle it, which is actually a good form of personal growth.
Dating and relationships add to the mental overhead, but navigating a tough marriage and eventually divorce add a whole layer of mental overhead that I can’t even describe. It’s a miracle people manage to stay employed after going through it.
too absorbed in work making money for a corporate overlord to try to breed.
I hope you're working at a startup that you own, otherwise you're just helping fund some executive's Disney vacation with his four kids, while you end up an evolutionary dead-end.
but maybe you'll write something that everyone will use for a couple years, then replace, right?
Pretty much feels like a second job to me and currently in the stage of advancing in my career and learning Rust on the side and more devops things and then the actual job as a Java SWE I already do like a 150%/60+ hour week, I can not have a 250% load.
There are phases of life where it makes sense to prevent preoccupying yourself with romantic relationships (which end up occupying large chunks of your free time), however I believe that long term this is a bad strategy. Focusing on career above all else will not make you happy in the long run unless you define your entire identity as a career professional.
In short bursts this is probably fine (and I followed a similar strategy early in my career) but I am personally happy to have not fallen into the trap of focusing on my career to the detriment of my personal life throughout my entire youth.
Well, no-one can decide your priorities for you, but this is a path you want to be sure you want to follow, as your life options narrow more quickly than you might imagine.
Advancing your career may seem important now, but will you feel that way on your deathbed looking back?
Your loaded comment reminds me of Sheryl Sandberg's statements. "Look how easy it is to maintain work/life balance if you LEAN IN!" -- ignoring the fact that an army of people supporting her "LEAN IN" lifestyle.
pylua|1 year ago
I think you learn to bear the load more gracefullly as you age and mature. It also puts life more into perspective.
My main point is you learn to handle it, which is actually a good form of personal growth.
Seanambers|1 year ago
darth_avocado|1 year ago
red-iron-pine|1 year ago
I hope you're working at a startup that you own, otherwise you're just helping fund some executive's Disney vacation with his four kids, while you end up an evolutionary dead-end.
but maybe you'll write something that everyone will use for a couple years, then replace, right?
fHr|1 year ago
untrust|1 year ago
In short bursts this is probably fine (and I followed a similar strategy early in my career) but I am personally happy to have not fallen into the trap of focusing on my career to the detriment of my personal life throughout my entire youth.
closewith|1 year ago
Advancing your career may seem important now, but will you feel that way on your deathbed looking back?
mantas|1 year ago
mohsen1|1 year ago
unknown|1 year ago
[deleted]
gotts|1 year ago
hn_throwaway_99|1 year ago