[chasely]

I see this a lot as someone that came from a solidly middle-class background (parents were a teacher and secretary) and went to a "highly-ranked" university with plenty of upper-middle or upper class students.

I work in the same jobs as my peers, but there is a clear wealth difference in how our lives are spent.

We have a nice house in a good neighborhood, but our peers have very nice houses is some of the best neighborhoods due in large part to down payment gifts, gifts for remodeling, etc. We can both afford the mortgage payment, but the down payment would take us probably a decade to save for.

On vacations, we'll drive a couple hours away with the kids, while our peers will fly to Europe and spend two weeks since they pay for the flights and their parents pay for lodging and food.

And then there is family support. Some of my peers have parents who bought second (or third) homes to be closer to their grandchildren, or will pay for the very nice private school, etc.

It's taken me a lot to not very bitter about this -- and I'm clearly still a little bitter -- but I also know that we will likely be in a position to offer some of this support to our kids in 20+ years.

[dandellion]

> It's taken me a lot to not very bitter about this -- and I'm clearly still a little bitter -- but I also know that we will likely be in a position to offer some of this support to our kids in 20+ years.

Wealth inequality has been increasing for decades, if the trend continues and nobody does anything the wealth gap could easily become so large that you might not be able to provide any meaningful support to your kids, and even if you manage to, your children won't stand a chance to provide it to theirs in 40+ years.

Many of our current rights are only there thanks to bitter people.

[grvdrm]

This resonates with me.

Grew up in a very small house with two lower middle class parents. Frugal upbringing.

My wife and I out earn my parents by more than 10x. And so we can afford to do some things that I couldn’t as a kid like “ski weekend in Park City”

I’ve jealously looked around many times and frustrated myself with comparisons to wealthier people. They can do X and I can’t.

But as I’m getting older and raising kids, I’m continually reassessing the value of these high cost adventures. Am I happier, healthier, more refreshed, etc or is it instead my access to high-cost that fools me into feeling those ways?

I see the path forward similar to you. I’d like to help my kids however I can while not giving them a financial ticket for life. Want to do things that fulfill us without feeling too extravagant or costly.

[metaltyphoon]

> also know that we will likely be in a position to offer some of this support to our kids in 20+ years

If this is in the US, hope for no health issue or it could easily derail the dreams :(

[grvdrm]

All the more reason to do what you can for longevity!