[haney]

First off, it sounds like you’re going through a lot and human to human I want to acknowledge how hard that is. I’d suggest trying to talk to someone to help you heal and overcome the things that you’ve been coping with. When I’ve worked stressful jobs I’ve found exercise to be really helpful. Lastly, just remember that while you need your job economically you’ve already decided to leave, so as much as possible try to not take any of the actions of others personally. If you can put some mental space between your work and yourself it might help you to keep enough energy to focus on a search for something more fulfilling.

There are great teams out there, it does take a lot of work to find them but it is possible to find something fulfilling. Take care of yourself enough during this time so you have the energy to go find something better. I’d encourage you to get started.

[dirtybirdnj]

I barely have the mental energy to do my job.

Spending the time and effort to do the SECOND job, after my first one is just a mathematical impossibility. I don't have any gas left in the tank.

It has been like this since last October. My life is just a fucking chaos firepit and there is no way out of this reactive hellscape

[sshine]

It sounds paradoxical, but you need some energy to harness energy. Try to avoid going straight home from work, take a long walk and wear yourself down in an unusual way. Break pattern.

When I was stuck the most career wise, I put my bed in the basement and slept on the couch. Not a recommendation. But you’re allowed to slowly slip out of the life you don’t want.