[Belphemur]

I just finished building a Night Routine manager for me and my wife that help us keep alternating who does the toddler night routine. I needed this because we both have evening activities and trying to figure how to block day for it while keeping the routine fair was hard.

https://github.com/Belphemur/night-routine

I wanted to build everything from the ground up in Go and have it fully integrated with Google Calendar where we have our family calendar.

It setup full day event with the name of the parent in charge of the night routine. To override a routine, any of us can just rename the event with the the other parent name and the software recalculate the following routines.

I also wanted to give a try to Roo Code in VS Code it only took me 2 days (evenings) to code the whole thing with a proper sqlite db.

[conductr]

My wife and I alternate and handle conflicts by exception. Meaning, if we have a conflict the other person subs in. I think calendaring things around your home schedule will be hard for the 'things'. Like, a lot of our evening activities are scheduled events that we can't control (concert, theater, etc) or even a group (dad's dinner, etc) and the occasional work stuff. Anyways, I just think it would be hard to plan for the home duties as a conflict and instead we try to sub in for each other and shoot for something that 'feels fair' over time instead of quantitatively fair on a tracker. I'm all for building tools for youself so if you think this would be of use then that's awesome, just thought I'd share my 2 cents on the 'problem space' :)

Also, FWIW, I think I'm the one that is in the deficit of fair although dad's usually get a bad rep in this regard. I end up doing a lot more night time reps because she does frequent girls nights and has multiple friend groups she's trying to stay engaged with and is in a theater group and mahjong group, etc. However, I balance it with my occasional "take an entire day" to myself. Stuff like this is hard to track and why I think it's important to shoot for what 'feels fair' and make sure you talk about it occasionally so nobody suddenly has repressed feelings of inequality.

[Belphemur]

This is great advice. In our case, we realized we can't trust our memory anymore, it became hard to remember who done it the most.

We wanted both a system that keeps track of it for us. We want to be sure we can both have activities while still not leaving the other parent on the side and rely on feeling.

In our case we also have recurring events like sport in the evening that happens every week at the same time so this help plan around it and not become unbalanced. We already put everything in the calendar :)