I actually was in a situation where I had such a debate during Covid with someone I was in school with. I tried to take time to argue.
He would show some numbers and make completely wrong conclusions. There was no way I could get him to try to listen to me. Whereas back at school, he was never arguing with me about maths given that he had bad grades and I didn't.
So somehow I really feel like there is this "authority" thing missing. Now that he is an adult, he feels like his opinion about everything is valid.
Your comment makes me wonder if a large part of what's driving this is the proliferation of so many disparate (sub)cultures, and specifically the brain drain away from the subcultures that had been the traditional societal defaults.
When you were at school, you were both part of the same social hierarchy. On the topic of math proficiency (general smartness, really), it was easy for him to perform a mental check and see that you were above him in that aspect (even if he was above you in other aspects), and so he should listen to you.
But then you probably went your own way, essentially getting out of his way with him continuing to advance in that traditional subculture. So now he feels he's earned being considered closer to the top of the hierarchy, even though it's no longer a pan-society hierarchy!
And then he also cannot understand where to slot you into his mental model. So you just get written off as an outside attacking force to be opposed.
This also explains why they continue calling themselves "conservatives" despite gleefully working to destroy our institutions and standing in the world - what they want "conserved" is their perceived prominence of the subcultures they bought into.
Thing is that people are entitled to have different opinions and we can argue about those all day. But people are not entitled to different facts, and if someone pretends 2+2=5, then there's very little arguing about that. It's not that I'm too tired to argue, but if someone is so far out of the common ground, there's no basis on which it makes sense to argue because they'll just declare all of your premises void and "win".
palata|11 months ago
He would show some numbers and make completely wrong conclusions. There was no way I could get him to try to listen to me. Whereas back at school, he was never arguing with me about maths given that he had bad grades and I didn't.
So somehow I really feel like there is this "authority" thing missing. Now that he is an adult, he feels like his opinion about everything is valid.
mindslight|11 months ago
When you were at school, you were both part of the same social hierarchy. On the topic of math proficiency (general smartness, really), it was easy for him to perform a mental check and see that you were above him in that aspect (even if he was above you in other aspects), and so he should listen to you.
But then you probably went your own way, essentially getting out of his way with him continuing to advance in that traditional subculture. So now he feels he's earned being considered closer to the top of the hierarchy, even though it's no longer a pan-society hierarchy!
And then he also cannot understand where to slot you into his mental model. So you just get written off as an outside attacking force to be opposed.
This also explains why they continue calling themselves "conservatives" despite gleefully working to destroy our institutions and standing in the world - what they want "conserved" is their perceived prominence of the subcultures they bought into.
Xylakant|11 months ago
soperj|11 months ago