[grepLeigh]

On the other side of this argument, I've seen "just run the dishwasher twice" used as shorthand for giving yourself permission to do whatever is needed to get the job done and not letting perfectionism paralyze you from making progress.

This blog excerpt explains the idea [1]:

> Knowing this week was going to be a lot, I’ve been living by “run the dishwasher twice”. What the hell does that even mean?! Essentially it means to do whatever is the path of least resistance to get shit done. The advice came from a therapist to a woman who was feeling very low & was struggling with everyday tasks such as doing the dishes. She didn’t have the mental capacity to scrub dishes before putting them in her crappy dishwasher so she wasn’t doing them & they were building up & causing her more anxiety. Her therapist said not to rinse the dishes & just run the dishwasher twice, even three times if that’s what it took to get them clean. It was a game-changer for her, one that enabled her to do a small task in an imperfect way just to get it done.

I wish the OP article had dug a little bit deeper into the psychology behind daily task conflict in relationships. The dishwasher is one of many microcosms (laundry, car, pets, etc) that I wish I'd paid more attention to in my relationships, because these conversations really do reveal relationship dynamics around HUGE issues like compromise, empathy, perfectionism, and judgmental behavior.

[1] https://thebackfenceblog.wordpress.com/2021/08/27/run-the-di...

[Swizec]

> On the other side of this argument, I've seen "just run the dishwasher twice" used as shorthand for giving yourself permission to do whatever is needed to get the job done and not letting perfectionism paralyze you from making progress.

We've found that if we can't do a 10min tasks once, we won't do it twice either. We'll do dishes tomorrow. It's fine.

I used to try the do-a-little-whenever method when I was single and the only outcome was that I spent all day every day dealing with dishes and had a constantly dirty kitchen.

[BrandoElFollito]

Oh no. 2 loads mean 2 unloads. I cannot exploit my children anymore (their words, not mine) because they are gone so you better concentrate to put everything in one to.

[grepLeigh]

"Give yourself permission" here means acknowledging you're doing a "good enough" job (for now) instead of a "perfect" job, and not beating yourself up about it in the short term. The Wiki article on self-compassion [1] has more context on the therapeutic value of practicing self-compassion and the impact on measurements of life satisfaction/happiness, curiosity, resilience, etc.

Depending on the task/behavior, you may carry the same attitude into the medium/long term, OR figure out how to course-correct medium/long term to align with your values. E.g., if one of your core values is militant conservation of water, either because it's expensive or one of the disappearing resources on Earth, you might strategize ways to conserve your energy to do the best possible dishwasher-loading job every day. That's what I was getting at when I said these type of tasks are "microcosms" because sometimes they reveal misalignment of values.

Why do you say "therapist" here (with the air quotes)?

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-compassion

[ipsento606]

> This is lazy and wasteful.

Modern dishwashers are incredibly efficient. They consume insignificant amounts of power and water compared to heating or cooling your home, or taking an extra shower.

Your opinions are your own, but I don't have the slightest hesitation in running an extra dishwasher cycle if it makes my life the slightest bit easier.

[xvokcarts]

One shouldn't ever be anxious about such things as being wasteful. Mindful, sure, but not anxious - being anxious about such things is actually a pretty good reason for therapy.