[switch007]

My company would have spun that like

"We are excited to announce we are supporting our family in their health kick journey. To support them, we have taken the difficult decision to reduce the number of beverages available. We remain fully committed to unlimited delicious tap water, free of charge!"

[krick]

That's kinda the point. As silly as what you wrote is, it's still a whole level above what ChatGPT can make up. The fact, that it produces human-like text doesn't make it any good, but somewhere there is a manager (and I bet he is not the only one) who just uses it to generate some nonsense announcements and gets paid for his work. Maybe he'll even get a promotion because of how effective he is.