[blindgeek]

I am the OP. Surprised to see this at the top of HN.

[couchdb_ouchdb]

Best to you OP.

I always think of the Five Remembrances:

I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape having ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.

[delichon]

  “All lives are the same length, Lazarus. They're all just one moment long. It’s the moment we’re in. The rest is memory or imagination.” — Dora, in Time Enough for Love by Robert A. Heinlein

[NoGravitas]

Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

[croisillon]

Good luck!

[sn]

I am surprised to see it here too. I find it unkind.

Not that you need to hear it from me, but you will be remembered and missed.

[blindgeek]

Inappropriate / unkind, perhaps. I did make at least one solid friend over it. She saw the post on here, emailed me, and I ended up talking for over an hour with an understanding person who has lots in common with me and gave me some things to think about. I could have done without the email from someone else who said that "people in Gaza are suffering worse than you and they aren't doing what you're doing, so get mental help."

The absurdist humor of my impending demise making the front page of hackernews and being debated by the denizens thereof is not lost on me.

[squigz]

What's unkind?

[bilbo-b-baggins]

Hope you throw a giant party before seeing yourself out. Like a wake that you get to attend.

[blindgeek]

Well, as much as I'd love to tie one on today, my drinking days are over. I'll probably smoke a bit of weed though. That, and chill with my loved ones.

[soulofmischief]

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=44251900 just thought I would leave this comment here in case it makes you reconsider. Don't let sunk cost fallacy make you commit to something so permanent just yet if it turns out this therapy is within reach after all. Either way... Good luck. Hug your loved ones tight.