I started my company (Zoho Corp) after I got married and our son was born within a couple of years of it. One co-founder already had a kid by the time we got started. It helped that none of us were into "youth culture" but more of a "geek culture" - even at 23, we were far more interested in seeking out people to discuss The Economist than to go to a bar ... I am not ashamed to admit it!
My point is you can have a reasonably normal family life and you can build a company. These are not mutually exclusive. Some of the insane stuff people say they have had to do (30 hours of nonstop coding and so on) ... I am not sure all of that is required for success. Hard work, yes, many sacrifices, yes, but we can get a lot done in a 50 hour focused work-week, and we don't have to sacrifice all normal human relationships (parents, spouses, kids, friendships...) to build a company. What would be the point of that?
Yes, of course, if I had set a goal that we had to exit in 4 years it would have been a different story.
Would you have been able to start it _as_ your son was born? I am just curious as to how important you think the overall timeline was.
Also, I think it is an interesting idea to contrast "youth culture" and "geek culture".
My current goals are just to be as effective a person as possible, work on my entrepreneurial skills, and just hope that when I do have children that I am a good enough entrepreneur to both pay the bills and be able to spend quality time with my family. It worries me that I may not be to that point when the time eventually arrives.
Congratulations on building an awesome company and being totally humble about it. I wish stories like yours were told more to put startups, life and what's important into perspective.
Being married is one thing; having kids is another.
As an entrepreneur with two young children, I know it's hard to keep a balance.
The hard part isn't necessarily the limited number of hours. It's possible to build a successful startup while working 40 hours a week, provided you're really focused and not goofing around during those hours.
What's hard is many startups have a youth culture that glorifies in working all the time, though much of that time is drinking beer and playing foosball. That's great when you're 23. But I (and many others with kids) would much prefer a professional culture of focused, intense work from 10 AM to 6 PM.
Exactly, Here is a theory, I think one of the reason for a lack of enterprise 2.0 startups is that people like you and me (I have 2 kids as well) can't do things like YC, and most enterprise startup ideas come from people working in enterprises for years, and suffering the daily grind of old, overpriced enterprise software.
Since many top talent are usually less inclined to work for gray boring enterprises, and prefer startups (Who wouldn't?), then they don't face the problems we "older" developers see every day. no problem to solve, less ideas, less enterprise targeted startups.
Is there a way to have a culture that supports both? I currently enjoy the "youth culture" but am increasingly getting tired of certain aspects of it. I really do enjoy having fun with coworkers, but I am increasingly aware of the marginal benefits from doing this too much.
This is something I am increasingly concerned about, as I will probably have children in a couple of years.
The thing is, the entrepreneurs with children that I know are vastly more effective than (most of) those without. The additional focus required to successfully do both has made them much more discerning when it comes to how they use their time. But there is definitely a belief among my younger friends that people with children just aren't capable of the kinds of work that lead to awesomeness.
Exactly. Startup while married and no kids would be a walk in the park, at least in terms of not having enough time, certainly there are many other variables to building a company than time alone. But, kids, in particular when you exceed 2, in my experience, pretty much rules over any shred of time beyond 40 hrs/week.
My startup, in hindsight, was one of the biggest factors contributing to my divorce. I don't blame anything other than my own choices/mistakes (and certainly not YC). I don't think it's impossible to do both happily, in fact I probably would have pulled it off had I been married to a different person.
Family conditions matter, but what also matters is the personal motivation.
I've just turned 40 and have one kid and another on the way. I guess I'm having a mid-life crisis when it comes to my work life and have decided to try to do something on my own.
Yes, with a pregnant wife and a young kid, it is difficult, but personal motivation and focus has so far kept me going, at least as far as developing the MVP is concerned. But, on the other hand, I did think about a revenue model before starting my project and not as an after thought.
I wish I had had this itch 10-15 years ago, but I cannot change the past, only influence my future.
I'm in a similar situation. I have a bootstrapped startup that I've developed during nights and weekends over the past two years. With a day job and young child at home, it has been a lot of work and added stress, but it's definitely doable, if you're driven and consistent. It's mentally exhausting, though. If there's a limit on my productivity, it's lack of mental energy, not time.
I am 28 and I see 16 year old kids trying to create a startup. I feel the same way :) So much time wasted! But I think the motivation to create a startup comes from the desire to create your own direction in your career. That is something that only comes after work experience at less than ideal companies.
[+] [-] sridharvembu|13 years ago|reply
My point is you can have a reasonably normal family life and you can build a company. These are not mutually exclusive. Some of the insane stuff people say they have had to do (30 hours of nonstop coding and so on) ... I am not sure all of that is required for success. Hard work, yes, many sacrifices, yes, but we can get a lot done in a 50 hour focused work-week, and we don't have to sacrifice all normal human relationships (parents, spouses, kids, friendships...) to build a company. What would be the point of that?
Yes, of course, if I had set a goal that we had to exit in 4 years it would have been a different story.
[+] [-] mej10|13 years ago|reply
Also, I think it is an interesting idea to contrast "youth culture" and "geek culture".
My current goals are just to be as effective a person as possible, work on my entrepreneurial skills, and just hope that when I do have children that I am a good enough entrepreneur to both pay the bills and be able to spend quality time with my family. It worries me that I may not be to that point when the time eventually arrives.
[+] [-] timmyd|13 years ago|reply
Congratulations on building an awesome company and being totally humble about it. I wish stories like yours were told more to put startups, life and what's important into perspective.
[+] [-] jseims|13 years ago|reply
As an entrepreneur with two young children, I know it's hard to keep a balance.
The hard part isn't necessarily the limited number of hours. It's possible to build a successful startup while working 40 hours a week, provided you're really focused and not goofing around during those hours.
What's hard is many startups have a youth culture that glorifies in working all the time, though much of that time is drinking beer and playing foosball. That's great when you're 23. But I (and many others with kids) would much prefer a professional culture of focused, intense work from 10 AM to 6 PM.
[+] [-] eranation|13 years ago|reply
Since many top talent are usually less inclined to work for gray boring enterprises, and prefer startups (Who wouldn't?), then they don't face the problems we "older" developers see every day. no problem to solve, less ideas, less enterprise targeted startups.
I think PG wrote about it somewhere regarding things he looks to fund. (http://ycombinator.com/ideas.html)
Solution? I have no clue... but a VC backed babysitter 2.0 startup might be a step in the right direction
Edit: "do things like YC" should read - "create and run startups", not YC in specific.
[+] [-] mej10|13 years ago|reply
This is something I am increasingly concerned about, as I will probably have children in a couple of years.
The thing is, the entrepreneurs with children that I know are vastly more effective than (most of) those without. The additional focus required to successfully do both has made them much more discerning when it comes to how they use their time. But there is definitely a belief among my younger friends that people with children just aren't capable of the kinds of work that lead to awesomeness.
[+] [-] mountaineer|13 years ago|reply
[+] [-] mattmaroon|13 years ago|reply
[+] [-] yumraj|13 years ago|reply
I've just turned 40 and have one kid and another on the way. I guess I'm having a mid-life crisis when it comes to my work life and have decided to try to do something on my own.
Yes, with a pregnant wife and a young kid, it is difficult, but personal motivation and focus has so far kept me going, at least as far as developing the MVP is concerned. But, on the other hand, I did think about a revenue model before starting my project and not as an after thought.
I wish I had had this itch 10-15 years ago, but I cannot change the past, only influence my future.
[+] [-] mikesickler|13 years ago|reply
[+] [-] mirsadm|13 years ago|reply
[+] [-] dbaupp|13 years ago|reply
[+] [-] tagx|13 years ago|reply
[+] [-] humbledrone|13 years ago|reply