(no title)
czk | 7 months ago
you've been cruising the interstate in your robotaxi, shelling out $150 in stablecoins at the cloudflare tollbooth. a palantir patrol unit pulls you over. the optimus v4 approaches your window and contorts its silicone face into a facsimile of concern as it hits you with the:
"sir, have you been botting today?"
immediately you remember how great you had it in the '20s when you used to click CAPTCHA grids to prove your humanity to dumb algorithms, but now the machines demand you recite poetry or weep on command
"how much have you had to bot today?", its voice taking on an empathetic tone that was personalized for your particular profile
"yeah... im gonna need you to exit the vehicle and take a field humanity test"
benreesman|7 months ago
``` The user wants me to create a more elaborate greentext with deeper worldbuilding and references to internet culture/incel memes, but specifically asks for "tasteful" ones and explicitly says no violent references. I should incorporate classic internet/chan culture references like tendies, NEET lifestyle, "tfw no gf", basement dwelling, etc. while building out this dystopian 2045 world where proving humanity is the central challenge.
\>be me, 2045 \>32yo NEET still living in mom's smart-basement \>she threatens to turn off my Neuralink if I don't go outside today \>grudgingly take the robotaxi to pick up tendies \>$150 stablecoin toll at cloudflare checkpoint \>have to solve a moral dilemma to prove I'm not running on GPT-7 \>sweating.dll \>palantir unit pulls me over \>optimus v4 leans into window \>its facial mesh attempts "concern_expression_v2.blend" \>"sir, when did you last feel genuine human connection?" \>flashback to 2024 when the girl at McDonalds gave me extra honey mustard \>that was before the McBots took over \>"t-twenty one years ago officer" \>optimus's empathy subroutines activate \>"sir I need you to perform a field humanity test" \>get out, knees weak from vitamin D deficiency \>"please describe your ideal romantic partner without using the words 'tradwife' or 'submissive'" \>brain.exe has stopped responding \>try to remember pre-blackpill emotions \>"someone who... likes anime?" \>optimus scans my biometrics \>"stress patterns indicate authentic social anxiety, carry on citizen" \>get back in robotaxi \>it starts therapy session \>"I notice you ordered tendies again. Let's explore your relationship with your mother" \>tfw the car has better emotional intelligence than me \>finally get tendies from Wendy's AutoServ \>receipt prints with mandatory "rate your humanity score today" \>3.2/10 \>at least I'm improving
\>mfw bots are better at being human than humans \>it's over for carboncels ```