[ryankrage77]

I do wonder what these people's thought process is, to want to make gay marriage illegal. I grew up in a Christian household, and definitely used to be homophobic, as a sort of default. But once I was old enough to think for myself (I think around ~14 or so), I considered the issue and realised I was being stupid. My reasoning was, if people of the same gender want to be together, it doesn't affect me and is none of my business. I went from a vague, abstract dissaproval/discomfort to not caring, or a vague 'good for you' sentiment.

The entire thing has had me wondering ever since, when people who should be capable of learning better (i.e, not surrounded solely by bigots that prevent them re-considering/speaking up) are homophic, transphobic, racist, etc, what is going on inside their head? Have they just never given it thought? Like, what does a rational argument against homosexuality look like? I have always been forced to conclude that bigotry is irrational on the level of full-on delusion.

[alkyon]

It could also be indicative of the issues bigots have with their own sexuality. A good example of this, was a Hungarian MEP who as a married man and an author of ultra-conservative Hungarian constitution defining marriage as being between man and woman only was caught fleeing a gay sex-party in the height of the coronavirus pandemic.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J%C3%B3zsef_Sz%C3%A1jer

[tbrownaw]

Some people think state-recognized marriage is a special privileged legal status for the purpose of having and raising kids. Ie, that the focus actually isn't on the adults who are the ones to get married. In which case, couples who know they can't possibly have kids are trying to con the state out of the benefits without accepting the associated responsibility. I don't know what faction of people with this view take is to it's logical conclusion regarding for example infertility, but I'd be very surprised if there weren't at least a few and not completely shocked if it was a majority.

[jfengel]

What's going on inside their head is disgust. They have been told that some people are dirty, and the revulsion comes from a place deeper than rational thought. Once you believe that, you'll believe anything about your opponents: that they want to kill you, that they want to molest children, that they hate decency and want to destroy your country.

Steven Pinker does a good demonstration: he takes a brand new comb out of a package and stirs a glass of water with it, then offers it to you to drink. You know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is nothing wrong with the water. And yet a fair number of people won't do it, and those who do will still feel just a little weird about it.

That's extremely low stakes. The higher the stakes, the harder it will be to overcome it.

Clearly, you did, and others have as well. But for many others, the constant reinforcement of their prejudices means that they simply won't reconsider their premises. As far as they're concerned, these are basic facts that are confirmed for them every day. The only people who tell you otherwise are disgusting and dirty.

[FredPret]

I went through exactly the same steps as you, and I think where people get hung up/disagree with you is on the "it doesn't affect me" step, and of course there's a small minority that's just assholes.

[rsynnott]

For some people, it is literally a fear that they ways in which they are specially privileged is being attacked. This was particularly obvious in the debates about equal marriage in the noughties and tens; people claiming that same-sex marriage would 'devalue' their own marriage. Which, in their eyes I suppose it might, because it would diminish how special they were.

But you see similar themes in most anti-equality movements, just generally a bit more veiled (I was kind of astonished how _blatant_ the opponents of equal marriage were about basically admitting "we object to this because it is an attack on how society considers us to be better than you").

[add-sub-mul-div]

There's people who are prone to react to new ideas with curiosity and people who are prone to react to new ideas with suspicion, fear, intolerance. It's that simple. You're right, it's not rational. Identity by gender/sexuality/race/etc. is so fundamental, so the latter group reacts most strongly and negatively to new ideas about identity. Religion fans the flames. Most don't take back control from their religious upbrining the way you did.

[duxup]

If there’s something I, in theory, would like about the GoP in America it’s their libertarian ideology… but it’s a lie.

They believe in freedom, for them to restrict everyone else’s freedom. Of course that’s not freedom or libertarian or anything of the sort.

Even the political nature of the religious right isn’t about helping god’s children, it’s more about hating them and revoking any help they can get…

[mathiaspoint]

It was an attempt at compromise that the left entirely rejected and stomped all over.

[nullocator]

This sounds like homophobic baiting but I'll bite.

Perhaps they want protection for being forced to testify against their spouse? Perhaps they want the benefits of being able to share bank account? Maybe marriage provides access to better and necessary health insurance. Theres also inheritance, SS benefits, etc. Perhaps they are christians and want to get married as a religious thing. Perhaps they just love each other and want to be together forever legally in the eyes of the law. Or maybe, like me, they want to be gay married purely because they think it would make you uncomfortable.

[hellisothers]

Ignoring your rhetoric and addressing the question there are two really good and obvious reasons off the top of my head:

- spousal benefits, including heal care

- legal claims for things like child custody, property rights, etc