[brunohaid]

Hard to respond with something help - and/or meaningful, but still: my whole adult life oscillated (OK, oscillates) between being in the most incredible spaces and really shit situations, like being dependent on friends to crash on their sofas, live in literal garages, rebuild abandoned SROs etc for months while friends I grew up with had homes, kids, families etc. I just got lucky to be delusional / screwed up enough in just the right ways to keep going.

It's really hard to overcome that feeling once it's there, but you somehow have to find that space in yourself and through others. Some of the most talented and skilled people I know live in the weirdest places, but somehow managed to find their place. If you're lucky to live in a big city, check out spaces like Noisebridge or Resistor, or whatever your local equivalent is.

If that's not an option, maybe the internet can help. Don't know if for example engineering is your thing, but the reason I respect folks like IMSAI Guy or bigclivedotcom on Youtube so much isn't just that they really know what they're talking about, they also seem like really decent people and found their place. They don't seem to be particularly rich or fancy, and I'm sure they have their own stuff to deal with in their lives, but they kept going until they found their place. Long rant, hope it helps somehow/somewhat.