[shark1]

> "...happiness to become one’s default state of mind."

I have read psychologists saying that "happiness as default state" is a social construct myth of modern times. You cannot be happy all the time, the fact of being unhappy sometimes is what drives you self-reflect and to chase meaning to your life. To feel pleasure you need to feel some pain.

[coldtea]

>I have read psychologists saying that "happiness as default state" is a social construct myth of modern times.

Psychologists are what's the actual social construct myth of modern times.

>You cannot be happy all the time

That's not what "happiness as default state" implies though. It's about happiness being the disposition you opt for, as opposed to wallowing in misery and seeing fault in everything as your baseline.

"Default state" precisely conveys that it's not about "all the time". Just what you should strive to start from and return to.

[kakacik]

Nope, its still vast majority of situation, not a healthy setup for most people. Is being content with one's life a state of happiness or just state of content?

We are splitting hairs here but since happiness is considered the ultimate goal and state (what's beyond that if its not the end?), I would say aim for being content with your life as a baseline, jump to an actual happiness when stars align and revert back.

Its cool enough place to be and definitely more maintainable long term, and as mentioned a seldom dip to misery is a very valuable correction and reminder to all how fleeting this all is.

[BarryMilo]

Psychologists are a myth?

[K0balt]

I would argue that perhaps you have confused happiness with joy, or I have confused happiness with a lack of sadness, or perhaps with satisfaction.

While I find that joy is a fickle and fleeting thing, I feel that I am happy most of the time, satisfied that things are as they must be, or at least close enough that the state of affairs does not poorly reflect on my efforts.

Sadness or grief make their appearance, but need not make life a poverty of happiness.

I think probably many people think that happiness and joy are the same thing, thus robbing themselves of happiness in an eternal pursuit of joy. If joy were constant, it wouldn’t be the joyful treasure that it is.

[jebarker]

I tend to think of (a default state of) happiness as being akin to equanimity. Not indifference, but acceptance of life as it is right now because that tends to diffuse your suffering. Contentment would be another appropriate word for this I think.

[polishdude20]

I wish I had more joy in life especially when I meet people who just seem to exude it so well in their interactions. It seems like they are almost always joyful.

[mi_lk]

You didn't explain how you define joy and happiness, can you elaborate how they are different

[randomtoast]

> You cannot be happy all the time, the fact of being unhappy sometimes is what drives you self-reflect and to chase meaning to your life.

Each time you go through a cycle of honest self-reflection, you grow emotionally stronger. When a similar situation arises again, it will not affect you as deeply as it did the first time. After enough cycles, you may reach a point where your default state remains largely unaffected by such events. This equanimity, that comes with a deep inner calm, allows a naturally happy default state to emerge.

[maplethorpe]

I do agree a balance of pain and pleasure is necessary. But I also believe you can make your default state a gentle fluctuation between the two, rather than wild swings.

In my experience, this is largely a force of habit -- I one day found my default reaction to almost any event was to chastise myself, for example. If you can break this habit and return to a more tranquil medium, I think that's as close to being "always happy" as it's possible to get.

[grugagag]

You may think you can change it but what if that came with the package? What if you were born bipolar or depressive?

[psychoslave]

Pleasure is not the same as happy. Probably no one, even the luckiest entity in the universe, can avoid to go through some painful emotion.

But how we handle raw emotions, within interpretation processes, is what makes all the difference.

Actually, an entity that would only go through an indefinitely long flow of pleasant emotions and still end up being depressed and feeling unsatisfied the whole time is perfectly conceivable.

[fuzzfactor]

>an entity that would only go through an indefinitely long flow of pleasant emotions and still end up being depressed and feeling unsatisfied the whole time is perfectly conceivable.

I don't think it's that rare.

Fortunately, the opposite is also true.

[Ruarl]

Happiness as the default state has nothing to do with being happy all the time. Perhaps you need to refine your understanding of “default”.

[xandrius]

First let's start off that psychology is not like other fields, as it's often theories/opinions.

That statement is someone's way to describe what they found out to be best for them. Not an axiom for everyone.

And default doesn't mean always, it means that one's general state is happiness. For me, for that statement to make sense, the word "happiness" would be replaced with something like "being glad" (gladness?), as I always feel glad of myself/my life but I see happiness as something more active, like being sad. While I see this gladness as a passive state. But again, that's my personal take.

[adammarples]

That's not what they said, they said a default state. You can't always be happy, but you can default to it when you have nothing else going on.

[tirant]

I would call that more content than happy. Interestingly in languages like Spanish, 'contento' is almost overlapping semantically with the word happy ('feliz') in its day-to-day usage, and I find it a more adequate usage of the concept.

So content is basically the baseline when no needs are impacting your state-of-mind, and happy would be the consequence of a positive event or result.

[wraptile]

There's fundamental lack of emotional depth in our society as I believe you can be happy and displeased or in pain _at the same time_. I can say that I'm never unhappy but I do feel displeasure, anger and pain at times as these aren't opposites and don't cancel each other out in my model of the world.

[fuzzfactor]

When tragedy and pain are far more prominent than anything else, it kind of reduces to positive resolve.

If others can not feel joy from that in person, you're doing it wrong.

Never forget what it feels like when fate smiles on you, even when it's almost never.

[tenahu]

I think that depends on how you interpret "happiness to become one’s default state of mind."

I think feeling happy is my default. I still get mad, hurt, sad, bored, etc. But when those feelings wear away, I return to a general state of happy contentment.

[123pie123]

I strive for my default state to be "content", with fleeting moments of happiness

[burnt-resistor]

That passage came across to me as toxic positivity, but I hope that's not the case.

Being real is perhaps healthier and more honest than completely avoiding anything that isn't pure bliss or joy.

[ErigmolCt]

If happiness were truly a "default" state, it would stop registering as happiness at all

[ronbenton]

Default state doesn’t mean all the time though?

[fuzzfactor]

So much of the time it's only when launching the app.