[Erwyn]

> You can run your own mail server and name server on top. The network of mail is very much federated.

While I do completely agree with that in theory (and I also love mail) I think it does not stand the reality test because of email deliveravility which tends to be a nightmare.

How do you solve this? Do you use a third party SMTP?

[Intermernet]

I ran multiple mail servers for years until about 10 years ago (moved out of the industry). The deliverability problem, as far as I know, hasn't really changed that much in the last decade. The key was to configure DKIM, SPF, only use secure protocols and monitor the various black/block-lists to make sure you aren't on them for very long. In my experience, if you end up on a few bad lists, and don't react quickly, the reputation of your domain goes down rapidly and it's harder to get off said lists.

You also want some spam filtering, which, these days, is apparently much more powerful with local LLMs. I used to just use various bayesian classification tools, but I've heard that the current state of affairs is better. Having said that, when you've trained the tool, it does a pretty good job.

It's not "plug-and-play", but it's not that hard. Once you've got it up and running the maintenance load goes to almost zero.

[Erwyn]

> It's not "plug-and-play", but it's not that hard. Once you've got it up and running the maintenance load goes to almost zero.

This is where I disagree. In my opinion it might not be that hard but the maintenance is really not zero as you just described how you need a reputable IP as a prerequisite and constant monitoring of block lists.

Just having DKIM, SPF and DMARC really was not enough last time I checked for getting delivered to let's say outlook.

[immibis]

If you consistently don't receive mail you expect, then you stop giving money to your mail host and get a different one.

[Erwyn]

It's not about receiving. Receiving is the easy part. It is about the delivery of your own mail.

> you stop giving money to your mail host and get a different one.

I was entertaining the "host your own mail server" thought, I agree that if you don't host it yourself then you can change your provider if it fails you.

[palata]

The fact that it is a nightmare is a bit of a myth. Granted, not everybody can do it, but that's not necessary.

And then there are many mail providers other than Gmail. It's just that nobody cares and probably the fact that a ton of (most?) people were forced to create a Gmail account by Google.

[Erwyn]

> The fact that it is a nightmare is a bit of a myth. Granted, not everybody can do it, but that's not necessary.

I agree to some extent. But it is more involved than deploying a Discourse instance in my opinion.

> And then there are many mail providers other than Gmail. It's just that nobody cares and probably the fact that a ton of (most?) people were forced to create a Gmail account by Google.

100% agree. This is the tradeoff I went for. I would love for it to be easier to self host but you can definitely use another provider.