[tsukikage]

Yes, you do need to include:amazonses.com in your SPF. Amazon aren't too bad at kicking spammers off SES promptly. More importantly, Amazon doesn't sign for DKIM - your server still does that; so no-one else gets to DKIM for you; and you can set the DMARC policy to require both.

SES currently charges $0.10 per 1000 outbound emails. The first 3000 mails are free. I received my first official bill for $0.02 after around two years of use.

Do investigate other relay services. I only stopped at SES because I was in a mad rush and it was the first one I tried that did everything I needed, without bouncing or getting filed to trash on any services I cared about. I have done nothing like a full survey of the market, and there may well be a better option. It is the general approach I am suggesting, not trying to shill SES specifically despite what it may look like.

[em-bee]

"not trying to shill SES specifically"

i didn't assume that. obviously you can only talk about the one that you are using, and while the general setup applies to other such services, i can now file SES as an option that works. and with that price point i am probably going to be to lazy to look for alternatives. (although i should check if the email service i am already paying can do that too without requiring me to send all emails through them)