[hzay]

How do you debug it properly? Suppose you see others not have the mysterious difficulties that you have. What if they were simply pretrained - through prior exposure to that material?

How would you even know that this was the case?

I think if you're fortunate enough to really, deeply want something, then you should simply train to become good at it. Don't worry about your natural talents, since those will change.

Personal anecdote. I started learning a rigorous dance in late 20s. No fitness or movement or musical background. Programming/sit on my ass background only.

After 10 years of it, when I try something like tai chi now, the teachers pick out that I'm genuinely "gifted" or "talented". Then I tell them I'm a dancer and they'd be like "oh that explains it".

This happened even 5 years into dance training. I had absolutely no talent for it - I always struggled with mysterious problems others never had. Whether it's postural, rhythmic, musical, whatever. Had it all.

My point is, identity change happens much faster than we imagine, when you go all-in. It doesn't take 50 years. But it's also slower than we imagine. It's not 5 months. You have to understand the timelines of human change.

Of course on day 1, week 1, year 1, even year 3, everything sucks. You can't then write an essay saying "here's my lessons from learning journey". I will believe an essay when the author gave his youth to understanding the nature of talent. Not if he gave it 3 years.