[EbEsacAig]

It's easier to be fond and/or tolerant of someone if you can occasionally get a breather from them. You go easy (or easier) on your significant other, family, friends etc because -- at least occasionally -- you can keep some distance.

Try keeping distance from yourself. :/ The self is always there, it never relents; its mistakes and weaknesses ever present, recurrent. It's less easy to accept and/or forgive when you can't forget.

In fact what you are doing with that photo -- which is a practice I completely support and agree with BTW -- is precisely that: distancing yourself from yourself, taking a look "in" from the outside. It's easier to find compassion like that, for both your child and current selves.

I'm also 47.

[raddan]

I’m curious about what ways you have to distance yourself from yourself. The photo trick is an interesting one I had not thought of. I’ve found that some engrossing activity is a good way to disconnect for awhile: running is my go-to, but also woodworking or yard work. Oddly, although coding is also engrossing, it is so tied up in my career that it does not usually give me any distance from myself. Other ideas?

I listen to the grownups here. I am merely 46.

[EbEsacAig]

> running is my go-to, but also woodworking or yard work

These are excellent. (Not that I'm an authority, of course.)

Additionally, the photo visualization that aantix conveys has a meditation format (I know of it from therapy) where you meet your child self during meditation, and comfort, console, and protect him/her.

Kelly McGonigal has a series (possibly in multiple editions?) on compassion, including self-compassion. The first instance I've encountered on LinkedIn Learning:

https://www.linkedin.com/learning/the-science-of-compassion-...

Searching the web for it now, this one seems related:

https://kellymcgonigal.com/cct

Note especially Tonglen (week 7). In my own uneducated imagery, I describe it as follows: during meditation, you breath in the suffering of others with your heart, and breath out love and compassion, which I imagine as a golden light. It's brilliant, especially if you do it towards someone that you resent because they have wronged you.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonglen

FWIW, exercise has proved more accessible (?) to me than meditation. I've managed to turn exercise into a habit; I reach for meditation exceptionally.