[legacynl]

I don't get what point this article is trying to make. First the author is 'frustrated' that the kid doesn't like to watch TV (why?), and she dislikes that he doesn't talk about the episode.

But in the end she praises that the weirdness of peewee relieves her of her 'explainer role':

> it was beautifully lesson-proof content, emotionally salient while also, like our minds, a bit ridiculous. As such, it relieved me of my explainer role, permitting me to just lie on the couch.

Then she tries to make a point about "current education practices are bad" based on this observation, her instagram influencers (yes really) and a personal anecdote of a 'feelings chart' in her kids' classroom.

> My Instagram feed is filled with influencers encouraging me to explain everything to my children, addressing even their external and internal realities. “Levi, are you feeling jealous that Augie has a playdate and you don’t?”

> Of course there is value to talking about feelings, and before you start worrying (Feeling No. 14 on the chart!), do know that I talk about feelings all the time with my kids—mine, theirs, and others’. But there is a difference between exploring feelings with our kids and feeling pressured by the broader culture to rationalize, contextualize, and hierarchize each and every one for them

Then she hedges her bets, by saying she's not anti- talking about feelings, but just anti this teaching method that she barely knows anything about.

Just to be clear; learning your kids how to recognize their emotions, how to talk about them, that emotions make us do things we otherwise wouldn't, and that emotions come and go is a good thing.

It's not a good thing to tell them “Levi, are you feeling jealous that Augie has a playdate and you don’t?”. This actually learns your kid that that would be 'valid' behavior, and even if they don't feel jealous now, the next time they might. It's better to ask them what they're feeling and have them describe it in their own words. The chart exists because it's likely that kids start out being unable to put into words how they specifically feel, but they can point at the chart to pick the feeling that's closest to how they feel.

I think the author could be better served by listening to her child instead of the 'influencers' she just so happened to be subscribed to. If the child doesn't like watching television, the solution is not to rotate different tv-shows until something works, it's to turn off the television and go for a walk together.

[tracker1]

For that matter, if a kid isn't into TV, that can be a great thing... Give them a variety of toys to play with, imagine, etc... Get a "big box" of random Legos (not the nearly single-use model based stuff you usually see). Draw, play with clay, go out and play outside even.

It really kind of feels like this mom wants her kid to be distracted by the box, with an occasional check-in vs. actually watching or otherwise engaging.

As to feelings, and how to handle them, good old Mr. Rogers did that over half a century ago, and I only wish the show were more broadly available today.