Ivy League psychologist: 'Bring your whole self to work' is bad advice

[jawns]

> People whose behavior and beliefs align with their company’s prevailing culture may benefit from sharing more about themselves at work, Chamorro-Premuzic says.

> However, people who express “authentic” opinions that run counter to the group’s views may risk damaging their reputations or relationships.

I feel bad for anyone who doesn't see this as obvious.

I've seen a lot of folks celebrate that their work allows them to be their authentic selves, even though they're well aware that the same opportunity isn't afforded to those with disfavored views or characteristics.

[pinkmuffinere]

Definitely. In fact, I'll say it is the same in almost _every_ interpersonal relationship. I engage with my parents, grandparents, siblings, etc in specific ways that we have agreed we have overlap. Depending on the person, I soften my utopian ideals, my fascination with drugs, my progressive-ness, my math memes, even my accent when I talk. I don't think this is unhealthy, I think this is just what it means to be alive. I express my "authentic self" through my life as a whole, and it is probably witnessed by no individual person; only I can see / enjoy it.

[everdrive]

>I feel bad for anyone who doesn't see this as obvious.

I don't mean this in a rude way, but inexperienced, or socially-immature, or spectrum-y people really fail the most with regard to this kind of advice.

There's a (correct) stereotype that spectrum-y people are overly-literal. However, from the perspective of a spectrum-y person this is totally perplexing. Why do people frequently state literal facts which have a secondary, contextual and metaphorical meaning? "Bring your whole self to work" has a really straightforward and literal meaning. It's not a metaphor which requires interpretation. However "bring your whole self to work" is quite obviously not meant to be taken strictly literally. So then why the hell say it like that? Why would people go around saying things which are definitely incorrect and rely wholly on subtext or cultural knowledge? It'd be like if I said, "hey by the way it's safe the change the lawnmower blade while the spark plug is still in" or "looking at the sun won't blind you quickly enough to be risky." And then people are just supposed to know I didn't mean my very literal statement literally.

And if everyone who's normal and socially well adjusted understands that you're not meant to take "take your whole self to work" then what work is this phrase even doing? Why does anyone even say it?

[pseudosavant]

My own experience has been that even if it was "safe" to do at a company at a certain point, people and managers will change, and your next manager won't care at all that the previous one valued your "whole self". Anything that can make you an outsider (disability, culture, etc) will likely eventually harm you if it is a meaningful part of your work persona. Sadly, less is more when it comes to sharing yourself at work.

[musicale]

Bring your professional facade to work.

Leave your weird, authentic, (and perhaps messy) self for the contexts where it will be genuinely appreciated.

[dhutvjhfguhg]

Great, so you have to pretend 40 hours a week. Great system we built for ourselves. Maybe we should tell kids that in school. That will motivate them.

[duxup]

It's always the executives, who likely face no consequences.

Or the folks celebrating it are just playing the game.

[hexbin010]

If there was ever an "it's a trap", it's bringing your whole self to work/being completely honest/being completely yourself/forgetting it's a game

[wasitwrongto]

Was it wrong to not keep any personal mementos on my desk, as a no-benefits contractor in software in a civilian hospital? (10 years before COVID-19)

[harvey9]

I never put personal mementos on my desk in any job regardless of employment type. Didn't know I was supposed to.

[aydyn]

I mean if you want to go the extra mile, you could keep fake personal mementos that align and ingratiate yourself with the ingroup.

[zoklet-enjoyer]

If you're doing your job and not being an asshole to the people you work with, then you're welcome on my team.

[snozolli]

I have never in my life heard anyone use this phrase. Is it actually common in modern, corporate America? It sounds like an HR trap, just like anonymous suggestion boxes.

[nemomarx]

Yeah, it's pretty common. A little less so this year than back in 2021 I would say

[only-one1701]

Very much around and very much an HR trap

[politelemon]

Definitely heard it in several US and European firms. Quite possibly spread through linked in contamination.

[fittingopposite]

> “You’re never going to get a job if you do that,” he says.

Can't really take this person serious if they can't differentiate a bit. People using the words "never", "always", etc. often generalize too much to really describe reality as it is.

[angryGhost]

Disagree. You can be your authentic self and be respectful of a workplace environment

[vorpalhex]

It depends on your authentic self.

I've known people who were just deeply genuinely nice people. Yeah they can go totally authentic and are entirely welcome. Hell they can invite themselves over for dinner to my house and I'll be happy about it.

My authentic self is sharply sarcastic, critical and at times brutal. My coworkers don't want to deal with that - that's a very chaffing personality especially towards the end of a stressful week and it can very genuinely hurt morale. I very much tone myself down, avoid sarcasm as much as I can, carefully massage critical and direct messaging as best I can and generally try to be aware that the people around me have different communication needs.

And I think people do get a taste of the real person under the facade. I know I get that from my coworkers - I have coworkers who are great coworkers but whose friend I have no interest in being because same thing, their "out of work" authentic self I find off-putting even though they are amazing coworkers.

[tekla]

The most "bring yourself to work" places I've worked at always the most "don't be like that". I've been disciplined at a place that literally had a entire HR ceremony of "bring yourself to work" because I cursed many times when many systems were failing and I was a on-call line for hours,

Not even the most conservative white collar place (super super well known big classic old school engineering company) has ever mentioned jack shit when shit was burning to the ground and we were trying to keep things working

[tester457]

It depends on the workplace and the person.

Some workplaces:

- penalize black women for having natural hairstyles like locs

- make Sikhs remove turbans

- deny chosen names and pronouns

There are entire swaths of groups who can't be their authentic selves.

[card_zero]

My authentic self is in bed right now drinking cider, so no, I can't.

[JohnFen]

Yes, you can! I do it.

What I don't do is bring all of myself to the workplace. Professional relationships are different than intimate relationships and not every part of me is appropriate for both kinds of relationships simultaneously. But every side I show is authentic.

[mathgeek]

Some people can, some can’t.

[lm28469]

Having worked with people from all around the world what you think is respectful and normal might be seen as batshit insane to others.

[RickJWagner]

I agree. Some topics are by nature divisive— these things should not be discussed in the workplace. Politics, religion, etc are best kept outside the work environment.

[BeFlatXIII]

Did it really take someone with Ivy League training to figure this out?

[tennisflyi]

I does indeed. Look at “gemba” lmao

[jpitz]

To every commenter offering incredulity or sarcasm at the apparent obviousness of this advice:

A great swath of us did not possess the social intelligence to arrive at this conclusion independently upon our arrival in the workforce. I didn't. I got lucky.

[only-one1701]

No shit?

[carabiner]

Millennials are the generation of chesterton's fence. We're just rediscovering professional work culture.

[y-c-o-m-b]

Hmm not sure I agree. I think we tend to be the centrist group in this duality. We give some flexibility in allowing people to "be themselves" while still holding them accountable to professionalism. I've held many different jobs in the past 20+ years, and that seems to be true anywhere I go. This makes sense because we were of working age before professional work culture changed to what we see today. We may have broken some of the older traditions and paved the way, but I don't think we're responsible for what you see today

[readthenotes1]

But, sadly, probably not the tale of the fence

[narcindin]

Bring your whole self to work, at this point, is the term you use to criticize this policy, not to describe it.

Maternity leave is a version of BYWSTW. As are PRIDE/ethnicity related activities as work. Should we jettison those?

I agree it can and is taken to far, but I'd prefer to read an article about actually navigating an office with different types of real people. For example, for example, thermostats preferences, volume preferences, "we a family/team" vs "just a job" preferences, etc.

[onionisafruit]

That's not what the article is about.