[ptsneves]

I had the same issue and now I have a much calmer job I can actually be a stabilising force home.

I crave for my side projects and as soon as I get invested and want to pump code and deliver I notice myself being irritable and a piece of crap person. Since I became aware of it I just stop my side projects as soon as I notice it. I am sadly resigned that I am unable to accomplish everything I want. I am relaxed and happy in everything else though.

There is no trick, but a choice: one’s family or ideas of accomplishment. I wish I could do better but I feel much happier when my family is happy then when I accomplish my technical goals mostly small things in the big picture.

Another important point is that obsessive energy was profitable and now I can live slower without much financial limitation for all our family.

[rebelchrisycom]

That’s quite satisfying to read actually, thank you for sharing this perspective.

I share some similarities in my previous post about balance and who’s kid your raising basically a ceo’s one or your own

[jebarker]

What was the nature of the change of job that brought you more stability?

[ptsneves]

I changed mostly to an engineering support role and less of a development role, in an area I find myself very proficient at, maybe even slightly overqualified.

The company has someone who can rely on when a customer needs help (although I never had to be on-call, I am flexible with timezones), and I often can deliver as it is inside my experience. When it does not work out my company has my back and is respectful of family life.