[throwawaypqpqp]

Apologies in advance, I’m on mobile.

I’ve been taking doses of around 600mg ibogaine TA, every 6 months or so, bought online at the first place that comes up in google. You can experience cardiac arrest from taking it, which will quickly kill you, and I based this (IMO) safe dosage on some papers I read. Don’t consider me an authority! And there’s also certain gene mutations that can raise or lower your risk of heart problems, related to how you metabolize ibogaine/noribogaine.

(I have also tried microdosing, based on another paper I read about a woman with bipolar depression. But I don’t have much to report there.)

It’s tough to describe any altered state. But for someone who’s thinking it’s like acid or mushrooms, note that it’s not really fun or pleasant. Your heart beats slower and softer, your body feels weak and uncoordinated, and there’s little to do besides rest.

But the mind is so, so active. And it’s like an excavator. Just pulling things from wherever and throwing them into your mind’s eye. I don’t like therapy and find it tedious and unhelpful, but this feels like years of therapy squished into a 12+ hour trip. Has helped me a lot with my relationships, especially with my mom.

You see a lot of yourself. What’s ugly, what’s beautiful, what’s neutral. You feel somehow distant from your problems but close to your “self”, which makes it more comfortable to face things.

After it’s over there’s a glow and calm that lasts a while. Days, or weeks, or months sometimes. Sleep feels a little more restorative, laughs come a little easier, the dusty baseboards of the mind feel cleaner.

So these are the effects of the lowish doses I’ve been taking. Some day in a safer environment I’d love to do a real full dose. But even at this “low” dose, it’s by far the most powerful drug I’ve ever taken, in a positive way.

[y-curious]

Why do you do this? Are you an alcoholic? I feel like you should mention your motivation more.

I’ve only heard it being useful in the treatment of alcoholism, I have never tried it because it sounds relatively unpleasant.

[throwawaypqpqp]

I’m the farthest thing from an alcoholic or addict. I have some depression and anxiety though, some sleep issues, burnout.

My motivation is just to live a happier and more peaceful and healthy life.