[benchly]

> Everybody gets hacked, sooner or later.

Right! But, wouldn't a more appropriate approach be to mitigate the damage from being hacked as much as possible in the first place? Perhaps this starts by simplifying bloated systems, reducing data collection to data that which is only absolutely legally necessary for KYC and financial transactions in whatever respective country(ies) the service operates in, hammer-testing databases for old tricks that seem to have been forgotten about in a landscape of hacks with ever-increasingly complexity, etc.

Maybe it's the dad in me, years of telling me son to not apologize, but to avoid the behavior that causes the problem in the first place. Bad things happen, and we all screw up from time to time, that is a fact of life, but a little forethought and consideration about the best or safest way to do a thing is a great way to shrink the blast area of any surprise bombs that go off.

[markdown]

> Maybe it's the dad in me, years of telling me son to not apologize, but to avoid the behavior that causes the problem in the first place.

What an odd thing to teach a child. If you've wronged someone, avoiding the behavior in future is something that'll help you, but does sweet fuck all for the person you just wronged. They still deserve an apology.

[timcobb]

I think people this approach is overcompensating for over-apologizing (or, similarly, over thanking, both in excess are off-putting). I have a child who just says "sorry" and doesn't actually care about changing the underlying behavior.

But yes, even if you try to make a healthy balance, there are still plenty of times when an apology are appropriate and will go a long way, for the giver and receiver, in my opinion anyway.

[benchly]

Sorry, I should have worded that as "stop apologizing so much, especially when you keep making the same mistake/error/disruption/etc."

I did not mean to come off as teaching my kid to never apologize.

[james_marks]

Not a weird thing to teach a child.

It’s 5-why’s style root cause analysis, which will build a person that causes less harm to others.

I am willing to believe that the same parent also teaches when and why it is sometimes right to apologize.

[halfcat]

> a little forethought and consideration about the best or safest way to do a thing is a great way to shrink the blast area of any surprise bombs that go off

I don’t think I agree with this at all. Screwing up is, by far, the most impactful thing that can minimize the future blast radius.

Common sense, wisdom, and pain cannot be communicated very well. Much more effective if experienced. Like trying to explain “white as snow” to someone who’s never seen snow. You might say “white as coconut” but that doesn’t help them know about snow. Understanding this opens up a lot more grace and patience with kids.

Most often when we tell our kids, ”you know better”, it’s not true. We know better, only because we screwed it up 100 times before and felt the pain.

No amount of “think about the consequences of your actions” is going to prevent them from slipping on the ice, when they’ve never walked on the ice before.

[ummonk]

I don’t see how any of what you’re suggesting would have prevented this hack though (which involved an old storage account that hadn’t been used since 2020 getting hacked).

[benchly]

You don't see how preventative maintenance such as implementing a policy to remove old accounts after N days could have prevented this? Preventative maintenance is part of the forethought that should take place about the best or safest way to do a thing. This is something that could be easily learned by looking an problems others have had in the past.

As a controls tech, I provide a lot of documentation and teach to our customers about how to deploy, operate and maintain a machine for best possible results with lowest risk to production or human safety. Some clients follow my instruction, some do not. Guess which ones end up getting billed most for my time after they've implemented a product we make.

Too often, we want to just do without thinking. This often causes us to overlook critical points of failure.

[iwontberude]

lmao you taught your son to not apologize and if he can help it not do anything that gets him caught. maybe this is how we get politicians that never admit they were wrong and weasel out of everything