[Thossndjsj]

Most people from what I've seen don't want unique as much as they want somewhat famailiar. If it deviates too far away from that then they are repulsed, and I can give you an example right here.

I'm going to commit suicide. I've known this for the last 15 years. It'll probably be another 10 years before I'll die, but I know my end is half laying down with a 1.5 inch nylon strap tied cinched on my neck and a tree trunk in the dead of night so that no one will be able to find me in time. The reason I haven't is because I'm taking of elderly relatives, but they are the only reason I'm still here.

That's the real me. The one that looks forward to dying even though there doesn't seem to be any reason why I want to die.

I wonder how many in this thread would be utterly horrified by this vs accepting of this.

[WolfeReader]

Neither horrified nor accepting.

What you have is mental illness. A healthy brain does not decide to kill itself. Please get help and do NOT wait for your elderly relatives to pass before making the call.

[Thossndjsj]

And thus my point is illustrated. Few seem to believe that wanting to die is a valid state of mind without some sort of physical or psychological malady.

And hence why as is often the point, being unique isn't a desired thing. Because most people don't want the frightening unfamiliarity.

[hypeatei]

FWIW, I have the same mindset and your comment resonated with me; suicide is a very taboo subject still. The responses to it are either: you need to seek help for mental illness or you're just acting like an edgy teenager.

The term "mental health" is quite terrible because what are we using as a baseline for "healthy" when we throw that term around? No one can answer that. I don't think everyone using that term is being malicious but they don't realize how patronizing it is.

[Thossndjsj]

The problem is I don't think the initial reaction is incorrect. How does one tell the difference between someone in pain crying for help and someone that's genuinely ready to go? You can't really, not without long conversations.

What gets to be a tired argument is with people that seem to believe that the former is the only possible explanation, and refuse to believe that the latter is even a possibility. For them I think the problem is that challenges the belief that life is to be held upon a sacred alter above all, and that such a belief is held to be a universal truth.

It's hard to step away from such a belief because it opens an uncomfortable door in asking what makes being alive to be preferable, who gets to decide that, and what if anything should be done about it.

[dirtybirdnj]

I am taking care of an aging and physically limited parent. It's brought me to my absolute limit. I often say stuff about wanting to be dead but I don't think I've ever been serious about it. It's the kind of thing I am trying to discourage in myself, but I'm trying to be more compassionate with myself in the times that I do.

Why are you so certain? 15 years is a long time to look down that barrel why do you deserve that?

[Thossndjsj]

I don't know if I can answer that well; it's like me asking you how you can be certain you love someone.

But my best attempt would be to say... There hasn't been any contraindications to make me think that think that suicide isn't the correct choice in the end. It feels right to me.