[cromniomancer]

VNC over SSH tunneling always worked well for me before I had Apple Remote Desktop available, though I don't recall if I ever initiated a connection attempt from anything other than macOS...

erase-install can be run non-interactively when the correct arguments are used. I've only ever used it with an MDM in play so YMMV:

https://github.com/grahampugh/erase-install