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theturtlemoves | 2 months ago

I'm struggling with this too. First, figure out if it's a true fear of success or really fear of failure in disguise. (I'm afraid of getting hired. So what? Then I have to perform. So what? But I might fail. Ahh, there we go.) Secondly, figure out what messages people around you gave you when you succeeded or failed. Especially any behaviors that gave you a feeling of fear, shame or disgust. Third, start placing your own judgment of what constitutes success or failure above what others think of as success or failure. Set your own goals and criteria for completion. Lastly, don't focus on the outcome, focus on your inputs. Work patiently, slow down until you reach the quality you want to reach.

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ElasticBottle|2 months ago

Super actionable, will give these a go. Reading through this I now see that I get stuck on the first step and just beat myself out about it instead of making progress.

Thank you!

theturtlemoves|2 months ago

You're most welcome, glad you find it helpful. And yes, "Why are you hitting yourself?" is not just a movie trope but a pattern of behavior to break. Takes a while to hunt down old patterns like that but keep at it, you'll figure it out for sure. Seek and you shall find