[simpaticoder]

I'm a parent and I have no idea what you're talking about. Especially that thing about not being able to get away for a shower... That seems ridiculous like it's coming from another species from another planet! I mean kids are ultimately people. You care for and love them but they neither want nor need your attention 100% of the time, not even as an infant. The vibe I get is the parents who go through this are super nervous and anxious about their kids well being so they create this unnecessary and unrealistic demand on themselves that they can't meet. The sad irony is that when the relationship is so fraught the poor child really only sees you as a nervous wreck so of course they're attachment will itself become anxious. I really enjoy being a dad and my kids are great and every time I hear this characterization of it it kind of pisses me off. Sure maybe I'm just lucky, my personality is well suited to it or the kids are genetically suited to being good kids or whatever, but something tells me the vast majority of humans have a positive experience being a parent or else the species wouldn't continue to exist.

[mothballed]

I am not at all a nervous wreck regarding my children but my toddler would definitely not ever let me have a shower in peace even if they were fully satisfied with attention and toys from another caregiver. It definitely depends on the child. Some are just hyper-social and at all times want to be in communication with absolutely everyone in the house, which was definitely not learned trait nor a response of something like no one paying attention to them.