[leeoniya]

> If I ever felt I was too old to have kids I’d probably have no choice but to kill myself

sperm quantity and quality decreases with age. studies exist that suggest higher risk of autism when father's age >= 45.

you're not too old, but you should probably test & freeze some good sperm before you might actually be too old by the time you find the right person. this way you won't ever feel like you're too old to have kids. then the question becomes more of "how long and in what manner will my remaining health allow me to enjoy them"