[chiefalchemist]

I recently exited an LTR with someone who was in The Program and 6 - 9 yrs sober. The daily meetings routine was certainly help but, to your point, it never addressed the root problem. Tho to be fair, I’m not sure AA was designed for that as the spectrum of underlying problems is many.

In short, my key takeaway (as an outsider) is that with AA it’s helpful to get people sober and there’s value and comfort in that. Unfortunately that comfort has diminishing return. People (e.g., my ex) put in the time (in a comfortable sorta way), but then don’t put in the work (read: progress to address the root problem).

Finally, as an unrelated / random side note, my theory is that if you evaluated late in life alcoholics (read: 30 yo and up) most would test positive for NPD. In the hands of someone suffering from NPD, alcoholism is one hell of a weapon (e.g., manipulation, avoid accountability, etc). Also, within the context of The Program you will never be encouraged to seek help for your NPD.

[fn-mote]

> test positive for NPD

NPD = Narcissistic Personality Disorder ?

>> overblown levels of self-importance, arrogance, and selfishness, as well as a lack of empathy for others.

Googled the term, but couldn't exactly see the connection. Fortunately, I currently only interact with a few people I consider alcoholics. AA definitely addressed the lack of empathy, at least.

[chiefalchemist]

Look deeper. There are two types of NPD. You found the typical / cliche version. Either way, NPD is ultimately a defense mechanism, which leads to a control mechanism. If you suffer from NPD then “alcoholic” is a great cover and a great weapon. In fact, “alcoholism” is known to correlate with those with NPD.