[alluro2]

I picked up "Atomic Habits" recently, tbh mostly because I've seen it being hyped all over - I was expecting it to be along the lines of "if you just do X for even 5 min every day...", but one of the early ideas that get introduced is that identity can play a big part in how we function with regards to our habits, which resonated with me, and I think is interesting in the context of your question.

The idea is that our sense of identity and image of self shapes our behaviour, subconsciously to a large extent. So if someone offers you a cigarette and you're trying to quit, it can make a difference if you frame it as "No thank you, I'm trying to quit" (I still identify as a smoker, but I'm trying to not do it), vs "no thank you, I'm not a smoker (anymore)".

Applied to defining goals vs parts of identity- not "I want to run every day and compete in a marathon", but "I 'd like to be a marathon runner". Because, in a lot of cases, we want to do something because of the qualities or traits we perceive the people doing it to have.

To me, it sounds good in this context as well - instead "I have to stop drinking" - "I want to be a sober man".