[BrokenCogs]

Sounds like someone who takes and does not give

[85392_school]

Why would he be helped if he truly doesn't give? He speaks about this a little:

  the person being aided can reciprocate with degrees of humility, dependency, gratitude, surprise, trust, delight, relief, and amusement

which, at the time, was genuinely valuable [0].

[0] Discussed more at https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=46555688

[lossyalgo]

You left off this part:

> It takes some practice to enable this exchange when you don’t feel desperate.

Which to me means that he had to fake the reciprocity.

[BrokenCogs]

Do you donate to a charity expecting reciprocity?

[dheera]

Exactly.

People taking advantage of other peoples' kindness systematically and at scale is the reason why people are less kind today.

[ric129]

I do like that the article touches exactly this, and even though I'm a stranger to the entire concept, it makes sense:

>Hardly anyone hitchhikes any more, which is a shame because it encourages the habit of generosity from drivers, and it nurtures the grace of gratitude and patience of being kinded from hikers

I can see how it becomes a healthy feedback loop

[oasisbob]

Not sure I agree, the systematicness can be cultural as well.

In my area there's a bunch of Islands with ferry service, but the ferry terminals are often remotely located on these islands, away from lodging and population centers.

It's fairly common to see people hitchhiking their way to hop off the islands. Every time I've chosen to do it, I'm still filled with the same sense of gratitude Kevin Kelly describes. The folks picking me up always feel like they're experiencing the sense of levity and kindness, not habituality and scorn.

[anonymous344]

yes. There are mafia&organized beggers and cheaters in every major tourist city. Someone looking for your pity $, but is actually faking it. especially gypsies

[convolvatron]

people getting increasingly hung up on enforcing reciprocity is just as likely a culprit

[econ]

For years and from people who have nothing to share.

[mise_en_place]

It's a distinct possibility. What's more likely is that this person is an example of someone robbed of their own agency, either intentionally or not.

It leads to becoming dependent on others, a true Last Man in the original sense. That's where the resentment starts on the part of the giver, especially when enabling people such as this repeatedly and on long enough timescales.

What's become clear to me is that there isn't anything inherently wrong (morally speaking) with these people, but they need to be moved out of the way so to speak. They cannot be allowed to escape their various containment zones, and the mechanism for their containment must be strengthened.

[jonnybgood]

Some would call them a begpacker. It’s quite common in Asia.

[bpt3]

This was my impression as well. I'm supposed to wander around and wonder who I will leech off of today, while presenting it both a skill and to some extent as a favor to the person helping me?

[jjkaczor]

Even mentions in the article that he would be hesitant to respond the same way with his resources... that's when I stopped reading, so frankly don't know if he changed that attitude or not...

[postexitus]

There is a view that being a kindee is generosity, because you allow other people to express kindness (and feel good about themselves?).

[magicalist]

Sure, and a world where we're more dependent on each other would be a better world. It's clearer all the time that humans work much better that way.

But if you're only a "kindee", if you structure your life in a way that you can only receive help from other people and never be the helper, that's not humans dependent on each other.

[exegete]

Seems like a good way to rationalize receiving and not giving anything.