[pizzathyme]

I would encourage people to test this out for themselves, I think you will find a different result. People today are starved for in-person connection, but are afraid to initiate the conversation.

This doesn't come naturally to me, but after working on it over a few years, 95% of the time strangers are excited to chat and say hi and make a friend.

[jkingsman]

You mentioned working on it — do you have a particular strategy, venue, or opening line/guiding ethos that you find works well?

I love making friends with strangers, but usually rely on the "handshake protocol" of a casual observation or small talk that is then accepted (with a similar slight-deepening or extension of the thought) or rejected (casual assent or no response at all), until the bandwidth opens and I can foster a more meaningful moment of connection with a pivot like "Oh awesome that you do $THING for work. Do you enjoy what you do?" or "Oh I don't know much about $LOCATION_YOURE_FROM. Good spot for a vacation, or good spot to drive straight through?"

As somewhere between "thinks like an engineer" and "on the spectrum," I really enjoy hearing others' strategies or optimizations (optimizing for quality, connection, warmth) for social situations.

[iammjm]

I found out that everybody has at least one subject that they are super passionate and knowledgeable about, and that I can learn at least this one thing from any human being. So instead of pushing the conversation into my areas of expertise, I find it more fun for everybody to let people steer it to what they really care about. This way we both get a sense of connection, it takes the weight of my shoulder to have to perform or amuse people, I get to learn random interesting things, and on top of that people think I am an amazing conversational partner, even though its them who do most of the talking (lol). Sometime people go full autistic on you and give you a massive ear beating but then you always have the option of saying "hey, it's been great talking to you, but I gotta run for a $thing. see you around!"

[cal_dent]

FWIW I think you're already doing the thing. That's it. But I'd suggest trying not to care too much about optimisation. It's unnecessary in my view because it implicit puts goals & outcomes as the end, when it's, ore about meandering and seeing where things go, endless possibilities.

[technothrasher]

> "Oh I don't know much about $LOCATION_YOURE_FROM."

I always love the most to chat with strangers in line or wherever when I'm in a foreign country, as there's so much good dirt for digging with someone from a far away place. It's funny, though, the number of times I strike up a conversation with someone halfway around the world only to find out they live within a few miles of me. Last time I was in London, for example, the lady in line in front of me had an Australian accent, and I always enjoy talking to Aussies. Yep, she was an Aussie... Who lives a few towns over from me in the US, in the same apartment complex my wife lived in when I met her.

[cal_dent]

I'd echo this.

There does feel like some wide resignation (more so with younger people <35 if I can generalise a bit) that we're too far gone everyone being closed off. But I've generally found that there is no real resolve to that resignation. Many just do not want to, or feel comfortable, making the start. Once the start is done though, the pleasantness of the experience is generally visible.

[diob]

Exactly this. I don't do it much in the USA to be honest, but when traveling.