[bbor]

And before someone comes in to correct: yes, we're monkeys. No, the taxonomists don't know any better! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monkey

[rafram]

That article seems to say that the standard definition of "monkey" does not include apes, and thus humans.

[technothrasher]

It doesn't just seem to say it, it says it explicitly: "monkeys are, in terms of currently recognized taxa, non-hominoid simians". Perhaps the accepted terminology may change at some point, but currently apes are not monkeys.

[b00ty4breakfast]

I remember reading or hearing that if we follow taxonomnic rules from the ground up, humans would be classified as hagfish (don't quote me on that, I have a terrible memory)

[tomjakubowski]

We've not made much progress on this front since Plato's featherless biped.