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roschdal | 1 month ago

EU funds, please tell me more.

discuss

order

elbci|1 month ago

20 or so yrs ago I read a 300 page "EU Start-up Grants Guide" - small print legalese or Kant is children prose in comparison. I managed to reduce to 5 criteria to get 100 points needed to qualify:

20 pts - parrot EU buzzwords profusely without any context or logic

20 pts - spend a tone of money for certificates issued by EU approved firms

20 pts - prove your firm is already rich and wants the grant only to get richer

20 pts - sign yourself in for insane bureaucratic oversight and 30% of revenue kick-back to EU selected services (all your suppliers need to be 'preaproved')

20 pts - !!! THIS !!! prove that you already participated in previous projects

So basically it was 300 pages of gibberish summarized as "you are neither sufficiently 'well connected' or obedient to get grants"