[connorgurney]

I might be in a minority saying this - and particularly so here on HN - but I struggle to understand why you'd be willing to use a tool like this, as OP did, but not to politely ask someone to keep it down?

[nozzlegear]

My wife and I were sitting in the coffee shop/dining area of our grocery store not long ago, eating breakfast before we bought our groceries. There's a gentleman who's usually there on the same weekend days that we are, and he watches videos on his phone very loudly. It was clearly annoying everyone around, but this being Minnesota, nobody was going to bother him about it (instead they just do little glances over their shoulder or the "OPE" eyes at each other lol).

Finally, one older woman gets up and walks over to him. My wife and I are like "Oh shit, she's gonna let him have it, here it comes." She taps him on the shoulder and says "Excuse me, can you turn that down? It's very loud." And you know what he did? He said "Oh, sorry," and turned it down.

She said thanks and went back to her seat, simple as that.

[tkel]

Thanks for sharing your story about how simple normal requests lead to simple normal social outcomes.

The isolation and atomization of modern individualized living has led people to be so controlled by their anti-social anxieties, fear, and loathing of other people, that they and OP won't even try.

[gsinclair]

That’s good, and I also have spoken to people in public about their noise several times, but…

That dude shouldn’t be turning it down; he should be turning it off.

My go-to line is: “Excuse me, do you have any earphones?”

[jspash]

You've never met my neighbours! No seriously. Some people are just jerks.

[ecshafer]

I have seen fights break out in the subway over people being loud. People playing loud music in public often seem to be the types to be looking for trouble, they want someone to tell them to turn it down, so they can say no and escalate. In a lot of cities this is a big risk.

[boarsofcanada]

To this point, there have been at least a few stories of elderly people being beaten on San Francisco public transit for politely asking people to turn their music down.

[tombert]

I remember one guy had a whole DJ setup on the subway once. Like he had a table, a laptop, several large speakers, a microphone, monitor headphones, the works. He would have been right at home DJing a kids birthday party.

The music he was playing was ridiculously bad. Obviously subjective but this was such terrible low effort stuff that I am not sure it would even make it to SoundCloud. Think “your stoner friend’s demo tape you try to listen to but can’t get more than three minutes in”

We were in a long tunnel and he turned the volume up, which I don’t think anyone wanted. I yell over the speaker and say he should that shit off. He said people here want it, to which I say “no they actually don’t. See how everyone here has headphones on? If your music was any good you wouldn’t have to force people to listen to it as hostages. If you want to actually test this then go to Washington Square Park, not the fucking train”.

He called me an asshole, turned the music even louder, and kept it going until I left the train. I don’t think he agreed with my reasoning.

[tptacek]

This app is even more hostile.

[rdtsc]

Think of it as catering to the fantasy of a geek's revenge.

The keyword is fantasy.

> so i built a tiny app that plays back the same audio it hears, delayed by ~2 seconds. asked claude, it spat out a working version in one prompt. surprisingly WORKS.

Note, they never said they actually played it and then person realized they were being disrespectful and stopped. That whole scenario is supposed to happen in a hypothetic fantasy world, and every reader here is supposed to take in the same way for themselves.

[hn_throwaway_99]

But still, I think the solution is brilliant and I can't wait to try it.

If you ask someone to turn it down, it can immediately come off as confrontational, even if you're being polite. With this solution, though, it's kind of hilarious because in one sense it's more confrontational, but the original music blaster would have to ask you to turn it down - but it's just their music.

I'm a pretty nonconfrontational person, but the one time I lost it was when this late middle aged woman kept chatting away on her cell phone in the quiet car of the LIRR despite other people previously telling her that she was in the quiet car (I believe my exact words were "Hey princess, what part of 'no cellphones' do you not understand" - there is a giant sign at the front of the car that says no cellphone use). But I don't think I'd ever do this in a public situation where the rules weren't so clearly spelled out.

[moron4hire]

It's also incredibly passive aggressive and passive aggression is one of the most reliable ways to trigger defiance in someone.

At least it is for me. Especially when it's my moth... you know what? Never mind. If I keep going I'll spiral out.

[brk]

Have you tried asking many people to "keep it down"? Generally that doesn't end with them politely keeping it down.

[connorgurney]

As with anything in life, it depends on how you ask.

[bpev]

I've seen a fistfight on the muni that started from this.

[charles_f]

In my experience, if you ask it politely and nicely, it works. I can't recall a time when it didn't.

[pseudosavant]

My experience has been that people are usually (>50% of the time) offended and non-compliant, no matter how politely you ask. Who am I to ask them to be quieter? They only stop if something annoying is happening for them, like this app, or audibly responding to their call/video.

[raffael_de]

It is very difficult to stay polite while getting very angry. Politeness is usually reserved for respectful people. If somebody acts in a way that is perceived as intentionally disrespectful (whether that's actually the case or not), there is a severe psychological dissonance to overcome. Also physiologically people will get nervous, voice shaking, facial tension and twitching, heart racing, mind getting foggy when severely agitated which makes trying to act polite even more difficult. It's easier and seemingly more sensible to just skip straight to snapping or ... bottling the rage up to eventually release it against somebody sufficiently harmless - humans are monkeys after all (which isn't even necessarily bad, we should just strive for civilizing the chimp and strengthening the bonobo within us.)

[IgorPartola]

Because social anxiety, typically. “What if the person tells me to fuck off? What if they make a scene of it?” Especially if six years ago you are the person who was in your teenage years, chances are your social skills are not what they could be if you didn’t spend a year in lockdowns.

Conversely, if you are the kind of person able to come up to a stranger and ask them (politely and respectfully!) to change what they are doing, you likely the person with the social skill to do other things well too.

[connorgurney]

I follow that, and it's something I've struggled with in the past, but doesn't this sort of solution make them more likely to tell you to fuck off or to make a scene, rather than less?

[Aurornis]

> Because social anxiety, typically. “What if the person tells me to fuck off? What if they make a scene of it?”

As opposed to building a tool to actively annoy them without politely asking them a question? This doesn't follow.

I doubt the tool was actually used.

[maximilianroos]

What did you think "building social skills" meant? vibe coded apps?

Gotta start somewhere!

[fortran77]

It's not social anxiety. It's fear of being shot.

[cheema33]

I was at a Bills game in Buffalo last year. 5 rows ahead of me was big tall dude, who stood up and would not sit down. This was blocking the view of everybody behind him. People grumbled, but nobody said or did anything for about 20 minutes. I was quite peeved. Then an old lady right behind him gently tapped him on his shoulder and reminded him that he was blocking the view of several people behind him. The dude shrugged his shoulder and said, "not my problem, you can stand up too if you want". I am a mega-nerd, but I lost my cool right there and then and started screaming at the guy. My girlfriend, who didn't want to see me get beat up, pulled me away from the scene.

Many people are just massive assholes. Asking nicely does not work. Particularly big drunk dudes at an American football game. That was my first and last visit to a football stadium.

[valleyer]

That really sucks, but don't deprive yourself of something you think you might enjoy because of that one jackass. Chances are that next time you won't experience something like that.

Also, basically every pro and semi-pro sports stadium nowadays has cell-phone-contactable security that you can summon to handle situations like these. The threat of being kicked out of his $250 seats is way more of a threat than that of being confronted by a "mega-nerd".

I wouldn't make a habit of contacting security over every little annoyance, but if they're obnoxiously blocking an old lady, that's the time to use it.

P.S.: your karma is currently 1337, sweet

[Aurornis]

This feels like a case of imaginary revenge. I doubt the tool was actually used. Creating this tool was part of a revenge fantasy.

If someone has too much social anxiety or is too afraid to politely ask the other person to turn it down, using an actively annoying option like this isn't going to help. This is more likely to induce a confrontation.

[cvoss]

It's a great example of (effective, apparently) passive aggression, and, I would guess, is motivated by all the same reasons as any other kind of passive aggression. E.g., fear of open confrontation, or a desire to create a situation that is just as or more undesirable for them so that the other person actively chooses the thing you want, of their own free will.

[charles_f]

Exactly! Every time I asked someone respectfully to lower their noise, it worked. Most times they apologized, I think sometimes people don't realize they're annoying others. It might be intimidating the first couple of times, but it's so much better to feel assertive and not be annoyed anymore.

Last time this happened was in a bar, there was a pianist playing, and a group sat right next to the piano and started being very noisy. I went and asked them to lower their voices. They apologized, and shut up entirely. Later, someone came to thank me for that.

On the other hand, I would never dare using that tool, it feels a bit childish and would make me feel like such an ass!

[varjag]

It's a way to avoid direct confrontation via passive aggression.

[olyjohn]

Yeah except being passive aggressive actually tends to escalate the situation. Because sometimes people will just respond to a polite question, but now you've just been the same asshole to them, so there is a higher chance that they're just going to get offended.

[futhsyb]

I guess you’ve never experienced asking, and then having the person(s) act out from turning up the volume, aggression, following you on you hike or off the bus. All these things have happened around me or to me. I’ve stopped asking. It’s not worth the risk.

People doing these kinds of things don’t give a F about anyone else. They’re terrible “humans” and should be treated as such.

[subjectsigma]

There's two options:

1. This is a lighthearted joke that someone made after having a bad experience with others being noisy in public. (Most likely scenario.)

2. The author is going to actually use this tool in public, in which case they are either a power-tripping asshole who gets off on "outsmarting" people, or a limp-wristed coward without basic social skills.

[user-]

I mean, he took a picture of the guy posted it on his twitter calling him a 'fat uncle'. I don't think he cares about being polite.

[throwaway150]

You have to understand though that this is X (rip twitter) we are talking about and from the verified account, the 14k follower count, it is evident that this person either is or is trying to be a tech "influencer". Posting controversial rage-baits is pretty much the pattern every influencer follows today to stir up discussion, increase their visibility, and get more followers.

> I don't think he cares about being polite.

If you're polite, debate civilly, say reasonable things and act like a normal person, you are a nobody on X. Nobody will see your tweet. Nobody will engage with it. You might as well have not said anything.

[sergiomattei]

Real courageous from that guy calling someone a "fat uncle" on a Twitter thread. Could've applied that same energy IRL and told him to tone it down.

[lbrito]

Is "fat uncle" a slang I don't know about?

[sergiomattei]

Seriously, this is as easy as tapping the dude next door and telling him to tone that volume down.

Negative social skills on that Twitter thread

[lacoolj]

lol this is a very good point

if you have the balls to do this next to someone, they will immediately recognize what you're doing right after they stop (if they stop).

that's gonna be 100x more awkward than asking them politely would have been.

[__MatrixMan__]

Because then you don't end up with an idea for a coding project.

[satvikpendem]

> didn't have the courage to speak up.

[itodd]

i would hope you're not the minority. i'm in your camp.

[latexr]

Agreed. Especially since something like this seems much more likely to get the other person to turn on you. It’s passive aggressive.

[baby]

This. People are scared of human interactions more and more. It's all about being passive agressive or avoiding the good ol' conformism through connection.

On the other hand if you can force people to behave through machine processes it's much more effective than human processes